Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

Victory over Sexual Abuse

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. ” Psalm 147:3  ESV

Sexual abuse is one of the worst assaults a person can experience, and unfortunately it happens far more often than many people realize. Statistics tell us that approximately 1 out of 5 women today experienced some sort of sexual abuse/assault and 1 out of 20 men have experienced the same on some level. While victims of abuse usually have feelings of being alone and that no one can understand their pain, the truth is far too many are intimately-acquainted with that pain and face it on a daily basis. It is a secret wound that many woman and men carry around in their hearts for years and years. It is tragic.

Finding healing from the pain of sexual abuse is not easily done and it takes time. There are many methods, therapies and books on the market to help people cope with what has happened to them. Some of these therapists and authors are Christians and others are not. We know that the God of the Bible hates this type of violent assault on His children and that He wants to bring healing to the broken. What I feel is missing in many of these therapies is a path to healing that involves dealing with the offender. Let me explain further what I mean by that.

I want to be perfectly clear that when I say you must deal with or confront your offenders, I’m not talking about literally speaking with them. At no point is it wise or recommended that you would make contact with the person who harmed you, unless you felt God was calling you to do that and you were absolutely sure it was safe to do so. In most cases, it would not be safe. BE SAFE first and foremost.  However, without ever speaking to or seeing your offender again, you can find a more complete spiritual and emotional healing by going through various stages of relating to the person who harmed you (ie acknowledging hatred of and identifying the offender, feeling pity and learning to pray for your enemy, etc.). My upcoming book, “A Letter to My Molester”, is a roadmap on this journey of healing.

I’m not a psychologist or therapist. I have absolutely no training when it comes to counseling people who have been sexually abused. . In no way am I saying people should quit your counseling or therapy and simply follow my method. Rather I believe my journey to healing can help people find a more sustained and complete healing, filling in the holes where other methods have fallen short. Don’t stop counseling, but rather address some of these issues in counseling and you should find, if your counselor is a Christian, he or she should be totally on board!

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. ” John 14:27

As I said, I’m not a counselor. I’m not trained or knowledgeable about the human psyche. I’m not offering a cure-all for sexual abuse. All abuse is different and all circumstances unique. Some cases are more mild while others are just incomprehensible. I’ve talked to people who have been through such horrors in their life and wondered if they can find healing. Then I turn to the Word of God and I am reminded that Jesus has the power and the desire to heal His people of their deepest, darkest wounds. He wants complete healing and victory for us. I believe the Bible is full of scriptural concepts that help people find wholeness again. I know this to be true because, while I’m not a trained therapist, I am a victim who found complete and lasting healing through God’s Word. By dealing with my offender Biblically, and not leaving him out of the picture, I was able to completely forgive and pray for my enemy.

I can’t guarantee that you will read my book and have the same results that I have experienced, but I can promise you that if you read it with an open heart and mind to the leading of the Spirit, that you will be in a much healthier place emotionally and spiritually than when you began. I do believe whole-heartedly that you can find the healing that God wants for you. It’s time for healing.

“You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness” Psalm 30:11

“A Letter to My Molester” should be available this summer if all goes according to plan deadline-wise. In the meanwhile, if you have any questions, please feel free to email me at: chelsea.p.mccafferty @ gmail.com (without the spaces). God bless you!

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