Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

Why Women Pastorship is Anti-Biblical

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I was talking with a friend and sister in the Lord last night about the concept of women pastors and this morning it was on my heart to go ahead and share why having women in a pastoring role is not in alignment with God’s Word. Now I know there are all kinds of movements and justifications out there for allowing women to teach, lead or pastor a church, and I could go through each one of them one by one and explain what makes them invalid points, but I don’t need to do that. I don’t need to know those arguments, nor do I need to dispute them and that’s because I know and believe what the Bible says on the matter.

Reading the Word in its most basic form shows us God’s plan for church leadership/teaching, and anything added to it is merely man’s logic, ideas, thinking, etc. God’s ways are above ours. Pleasing Him should be our primary focus. So, I look at what the Bible says and I get the answer to the question of whether or not women should pastor or teach a church. I don’t need anything more than that and I trust that God’s plan is perfect.

“Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach…” 1 Timothy 3:2

Why should a woman not pastor a church? Because the Bible makes it clear on several accounts that an “overseer” (the word means pastor, elder, leader) is to be a man. A husband of one wife. In every passage that talks about the role and qualifications of a pastor, the person is referred to in the masculine format. He is a male. God clearly desires men to be leading the church under His (Jesus’) headship.

This makes perfect sense, after all, because we see a pattern in scripture. God refers to Christ as head of the church, He being the groom and we are the bride. He always refers to Himself as masculine. Then we see God making the husband as leader of the household. Male leadership. So it makes perfect sense that God’s will is for men to lead the church. We will talk more about why in a moment, but for now we can trust the Lord and submit to His Word that women are not to pastor. Still, we go on…

“11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.” 1 Timothy 2:11-13

The Bible says here that women are to learn in silence. People have asked me, “What does that mean? Are women not allowed to speak in church? What about prayer? What about worship?” The scripture here isn’t talking about worship or prayer. It is talking about learning and teaching. Women are to learn in silence. We have seen elsewhere in scripture where women were worship leaders. We don’t see scripture against women praying aloud during times of prayer. We don’t see scripture stopping them from using spiritual gifts. We simply see that when it comes to the teaching aspect of church, they are to learn in silence.

In verse 12 there in 1 Timothy 2, we see that there are three separate things women are told not to do in this church setting:

  1. Teach a man
  2. Exercise authority over a man
  3. Remain quiet

We therefore see that it is not Biblical for women to teach Biblical principles to men or to be in authority over them, as a pastor role would allow. Again, there are many theories and ideas out there to justify women teaching under the authority of male leadership, but ultimately this scripture doesn’t just talk about authority. It also talks about teaching. So I cannot agree with those theories that seem to add their own opinions to God’s Word.

You may  be wondering why God commanded this? Why can’t women teach men if they are good teachers and feel called? Wasn’t it just about the culture at the time the Bible was written? No. It wasn’t. First of all, God doesn’t change. If you believe the scripture is God’s very Word, then there is no reason to believe He had a different plan for the structure of the NT church than He does for today. He’s never wrong, ergo He never needs to evolve or change. His ways are perfect always. Also, we don’t need to ask why because He already told us.

Why????

13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.” 1 Timothy 2:13-14

God answers the question. It wasn’t about the culture. It wasn’t about whether or not women were “good” teachers. It was because Adam was formed first and then Eve, showing a progression of leadership and authority. It can be related to how Jesus is referred to as the first-fruit. It shows His pre-eminence and His position as first in rank or leadership. So Adam was created first and given his jobs and callings and instructions. Then God created Eve and made her to be a perfect helper for her husband. She was to help him in the calling God had put on his (and thus their) lives.

He also says there in verse 14 that Adam was not deceived but Eve was. That’s the truth that I think makes everything perfectly clear and gives me such a sense of harmony with God’s Word on this topic. Eve was deceived because she was a woman led by emotions. Let’s face it, we ladies tend to be more led by emotions than logic. God says we are easier to be led astray or deceived than our men. He created them to be less emotional and more logical.

So logical-thinking men are placed in the positions of authority and teaching in the church. Are we ladies left out? Certainly not. You see our emotional and nurturing side makes us perfectly suited for other roles we are to carry. We support our husbands. We nurture our children. We teach other sisters in the Lord (Titus 2). We feed people. We clothe them. We make them feel welcome. We have SO much to offer ladies and God wants to use our emotional and nurturing side so powerfully. He made us this way for a reason! It’s beautiful!

I believe God’s Word. It’s pretty clear on this issue of ladies teaching, and yet I know there are wonderful believers who disagree. This blog isn’t meant to offend or to come against them. However, in a world where men’s theories and ideas are being taught as if it were scripture, it’s important that there are still voices out there proclaiming what God’s Word really says. To my sisters in the Lord who have claimed the role of pastor, pray hard and be open to God turning your heart. He has a perfect plan for His church, and scripture says it isn’t with a woman at the helm. God has great plans for all of His daughters and He wants to use them, but His way. Not ours.

I encourage you ladies to share this and also to look it up for yourselves. Just remember, this isn’t my opinion. This is a very simple look at what scripture says. It’s black and white. Be careful that you do not allow the theories and justifications and concepts of men and women to be more important or valid than God’s Word on the matter. God bless!

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How Will My Daughter Remember Me?

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The human brain is a funny thing. Sometimes mine works well and other times not so much. I’ve learned to accept that and just laugh at myself when my brain decides to malfunction. When it comes to memories, I have very little memory of my young childhood. I’d say most of what occurred in my home before the age of ten is something of a mystery to me. I have flashes of memories, but not much detail. My younger brother, however, has a very good memory and he can tell stories of his young childhood with vivid detail. Interesting how the brain works.

I may not remember much of my childhood, but I’d say I’m more on the uncommon end of the spectrum in this. Most children have memories from much younger than ten years old. The truth is, children remember what they see going on around them. They form memories and impressions very early in life. They are taking it all in visually and aurally much earlier than most of us realize. They are forming memories and associations with those memories perhaps even before they know how to express what they are seeing/hearing/feeling.

So why is this important?

I’ll confess that there have been times I’ve been very convicted about the way I spoke or an action I did in front of my young daughter when she was three, four or five years old. In times of weakness and in the flesh, I’ve made comments to others that were hurtful or even sinful with her in the room and I’ve very foolishly assumed she wasn’t paying attention because she was playing or because she was too young to understand what I was saying. I’ve criticized my husband in her presence. I’ve gossiped. I’ve flippantly made comments that were just silly and unedifying. She has heard me say these things, and though she perhaps hasn’t responded or reacted in that moment, she has taken some of it in. She has formed memories and connections based on my sinful words.

Now before you get all bent out of shape or start judging me, understand that I have repented of this sin and am forgiven. I thank God that we can be real and honest and open about our struggles with the flesh and with sin. 1 John 1:8 says, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” I thank Him even more than we are saved by grace through faith and not by works. I have no problem confessing this sin because I know that God has offered me forgiveness for all of my transgressions, but why bring it up?

“You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deut 6:7

God tells us that we are to teach our children something here. What is it we are supposed to teach them? The answer is in the context.

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.” Deut 6:4-5

Our God is one Lord and that we shall love the Lord God with every part of our being. That’s what we are supposed to be teaching our children, but notice what God says about how we are supposed to teach them this. Do we teach it by simply reading this scripture and then going about our life in any manner we like? Nope. We are supposed to teach them by talking about the Lord in our homes, when we are out, when we lie down, when we rise up….basically we teach our children to love the Lord by talking about Him and loving Him ourselves at all times.

That’s pretty convicting. We need to remember that our children are always listening and watching. They may hear us proclaim Christ when we are in a good mood and things are going well. They see us smile and shout “amen” at church. They may even see us read the Bible from time to time. Is this sufficient? I’m convicted that the words of my mouth should always be glorifying to the Lord, and that while I speak and act out of love for Jesus, my daughter is learning how to love Him herself. Nothing is more important. Nothing.

Knowing the calling God has on me in this, and knowing what a failure I am in this way, I ask the Lord for Holy Spirit power to reign in my tongue and to make my speech and actions a constant reflection of my love for Jesus. I pray that the flesh would be triumphed over by the grace of God and His Spirit working in me. I pray most of all that my daughter would not remember a mother who only loved the Lord in some parts of her life, but rather a mother who was sold out for Jesus every day. I hope she remembers that, when I failed, I confessed and repented. I didn’t pretend to be perfect, but rather understood God’s grace in my life, thus compelling me to seek Him more.

Children remember what they see and hear from very young. Their young hearts are being molded even now. The things we say and do matter to them. While I may never be perfect on this earth, I pray that my daughter will remember me as someone who genuinely and deeply loved the Lord with all of my heart, soul and might and that she will love Him all the days of her life.

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Younger Women Honoring the Elder

“Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5
Younger submit unto the elder. You know I’m going to age myself a bit to say that I think the younger generation has really lost the respect and honor that the older generation was taught to have for their elders. While this lack of respect seems to come from both genders, I’m going to address the young women who are called to submit to the teaching of their elders in the body of Christ.
I’ve met and discipled with some incredible young women in my time. It blesses my heart when young ladies come with open and teachable hearts. I consider myself at their age. Was I so receptive? Did I hunger for instruction as these girls do? I’m proud of these girls, knowing they have so many obstacles in their way as they press forward to Christ. These young ladies take Titus 2 and 1 Peter 5:5 seriously. They seek to learn from the spiritually older women.
Unfortunately for ever one young lady we see seeking discipleship and spiritual teaching, we seem to witness five of their peers turning their back to instruction, turning their nose up at the idea of discipleship and turning their attitudes away from submission and towards self-elevation. It’s not entirely their fault. Society is trying to raise generations of independent, confident and bold young women. In some ways their characteristics are good. We want young ladies to be independent enough to follow Christ alone if need be, confident in the gospel and bold to share the love of Christ. On the other hand, we see the world raising women who think they are too independent to need counsel from their elders, so confident in their own way of thinking that they are unwilling to submit to sound teaching, and bold to disrespect and dishonor elders instead of sitting at their feet of instruction.
For those of us who have daughters, we can see the challenge that lays ahead. The older generation will tell us that, in their time, elders were treated with respect. They would be honored for their years and wisdom. Young people would learn from them and be taught in the solid counsel of the Word. While the world tries to redirect our daughters into a “new” way of thinking that leads to self-focus and, quite frankly, arrogance, we need to train our daughters to walk in humility and to sit at the feet of the older women with open hearts and teachable spirits.
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Teach Thy Children His Ways

The most important memory we can keep for our family is the memory of our testimony of God’s power in our lives in the in the lives of our husbands and children. We read in Psalms that we are to remember His wonderful works. When our children are old enough to understand, we want to tell them all about what God has done in our lives. How did God capture our hearts? How did He change our lives? How has He continued to work in our lives ever since? How has God directed our marriages and our methods of raising our kids? We want to remind our children constantly how much He loves them and how He wants to know them.

 “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.” Deuteronomy 6:6-9

“These words…shall be in thine heart,” oh woman of God. “Thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children.” God goes on to say that they will be bound to our hands, placed between our eyes and written on the very walls and posts of our homes. Why? So we never forget! God is commanding us to remember His Word and all of His wonderful works so that we can teach them to our children. If we love our children, we will remember God’s Word and we will remember to remind them of His Word as often as we can so that they may grow to love Him and walk in His ways. We must never forget what God has done and who our Lord Jesus Christ is. Praise the Lord!

With God’s Words anointing your home, and your heart skillfully keeping the memories of the family safe inside, your husband and children will be blessed by you and will rise up to call you blessed. They will see you as a treasure, far more valuable that rubies or gold. You hold their lives in your heart—every scar, every victory, every fear and sweet dream. Treasure these memories. Your unique female heart was made to hold them safe and sound.

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