Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

The Worst and the Best Year – 2015

12241540_10203630329638421_1285773297065267458_n

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a blog here and much of that is due to the good, the bad and the ugly moments of this past year for me and my family. As we approach the end of this year and the start of a new, I can confidently say that 2015 has been one of the worst my family has known. Yet, somehow, it’s also been one of the best. I thought I’d take a moment to share with you, my friends, my readers, in hopes that this testimony is an encouragement and brings glory to God.

The Worst Year

My life hasn’t always been easy. In fact, it’s been pretty rough and I’ve experienced some seriously difficult trials and challenges along the way. Still, 2015 brought me pain and struggle on a variety of levels that I had never before experienced. As I look back, I can hardly recognize myself in this past year. There were so many turbulent changes and dark times, some due to my own sin and others for unknown reasons.

The year started like any other, full of hopes and prayers and sincere but short-lived resolutions. It started out good, with the Lord putting a new ministry in our hearts that came to fruition. However, in the midst of the joy of serving the Lord and meeting wonderful new friends, the health issues I had been struggling with for several years suddenly got ridiculously worse. The physical pain, brain fog and other multi-system symptoms seemed to fire up to new levels. I prayed for healing. I sought help from various doctors. I finally came to find out I have a chronic illness and one that is very difficult and expensive to treat.

As I started to try and raise funds for treatment, I found myself struggling with depression and the feeling of being alone. I felt like no one could understand. With an invisible illness, people expect you to go about life as usual, not realizing how much pain you are in and how difficult it is to function. I have struggled to keep up with my daughter, to do her schooling, to keep my house in any sort of order and to teach lessons. My health got worse and worse. I’m now in treatment, but I’m still undergoing a lot of testing and the costs are a great burden to my family.

Not only did my declining health make 2015 a difficult year, but I also struggled with sin of the heart. I believe in being real and authentic as a believer, and so I confess that I allowed my heart to entertain sin for a time, and as sin tore up my heart, my whole household suffered tremendously. Out of respect for my family and others who were involved, I won’t share details here. I will tell you that sin, even when it’s in the heart, is destructive and ruins marriages, families, friendships and lives. As I mentioned earlier, there were times when I couldn’t even recognize myself.  I’m so very ashamed of how I stumbled, and so very grateful for the grace and love of the Savior and from my husband that brought me back to rightness.

The Best Year

It’s a funny thing about grace and forgiveness. I think it sometimes takes a great fall to be able to see how precious and powerful grace is. As a Christian of many years, I felt so confident and strong in my faith and my life that I would never have imagined myself falling as I did into sinful attitudes and thoughts. It was no coincidence that it all happened in the same year as the Lord brought my family into an incredible ministry.

In February 2015 God put on our hearts to start a Bible study in our home and to open it up to folks in our area. The people who came were strangers to us, and yet the Lord put on their hearts to come. I can’t even begin to express the blessing these brothers and sisters have been in our lives. We have truly formed a community of believers who are taking their walk with Jesus to the next level. Some are brand new believers. Some came from other churches and religions. We had 7 baptisms in 2015 alone. The Lord has done amazing things and we have just stood in awe of Him, grateful for the opportunity to be used and to serve His people.

Is it a coincidence that this is when temptation entered and the father of lies began to send in his fiery darts? No. Of course not. I’m not saying that I had no part in my sin. I take full responsibility. However, looking back I can see that the enemy was out to destroy the work that God was doing. The good news is that God fought for us and met me where I was and offered me amazing grace. He gave me a husband who is faithful, forgiving, patient and loving beyond what anyone could ask. Grace. Redemption. Restoration.

This past year has been one of the best years of my life because I finally see what it’s all about to be serving the Lord in ministry. I see what fellowship and community is for. God gave us a vision for church that is so beautiful and Biblical and real. We have met such dear people who have become family to us. We have become a family on mission.

This year has been the best and the worst. It was horrible at times but, because of grace and restoration, it has been incredible also. I have been reminded of who I am and where I am weak. I have discovered how easily sin can drag you down and harm you and those you love. I have understood on a deeper level how sweet forgiveness is and how important it is to stand on the Word of God.

As we close up this year, my family is stronger than ever. My faith is steady upon the Rock. I am still sick, but the Lord is my strength, my comfort and my provider. He continues to work and to accomplish awesome things as we watch in wonder. I can say that I’m excited for the new year and what the Lord will do.

I want to encourage you, as we approach 2016, to take time to get your house in order. Get rid of any sin in your life. Confess it and repent and give it to the Lord. Ask Him not for riches or perfect health in the upcoming year, but for spiritual blessings to abound. Ask Him for wisdom, for love, for grace, for humility and for a serving heart. Let’s pray over 2016 that it will be a year of great rejoicing in the Lord and revival. Amen!

4 Comments »

Birthday Blues…Just Being Real

1621825_10200558672808920_2120119936_n

(Pic: Me on my 4th birthday I believe)

Another Christmas has come and gone, which includes as always the passing of my birthday. That’s right, I was born on December 23rd, a mere two days before Christmas. While there are always many jokes and fun remarks about being a Christmas baby and no one remembering my birthday in the midst of Christmas celebrations, I’ve never really minded much being born around the most popular holiday. After all, this is the time of year that we Christians celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. Why would I mind sharing birthday honors with my Jesus? 🙂

So without any emotional issues about being born at Christmastime, I will admit that this year was a bit difficult for me. You see, I turned 34 this year. It’s not exactly a milestone birthday for most people. When I turned 30, I confess to being in tears half the day. The few years between then and now haven’t affected me much, but 34 has been a hard one. It has been hard because it has caused me to reflect on my life and where I am today. With New Year’s right around the corner, many people will share these moments of reflection and self-confrontation about areas in which we feel we have met our own goals and where we have missed the mark. My birthday has added intensity and a sense of urgency to the mix.

Why 34? What’s the significance of this seemingly innocent and random number? Well, it’s one year shy of 35. I can sense the puzzled look on your face as you read this and think, “so what?” It may sound silly, but I had it in my mind from the time I was young that I would have four or five children by the time I was 35. I don’t know if it was the hype I’d heard about 35 being the turning point when a woman is considered on the older side of child-bearing age or what, but that number stuck in my mind. I wanted to have my children by 35. As I sit here, listening to my precious girl playing in her room alone, I can’t help but feel the loss and defeat that infertility brings afresh. I’m so grateful and so blessed for the gift from God that my daughter is, but I still long for more children, and this birthday has been a stinging reminder that this is a door that has been closed for me.

Now I know that many women have children well into their late 30’s and early 40’s, so don’t be offended or feel the need to encourage me in this way. I understand that there is still technically “time” for children, and that the Lord may still bless us with adopted children. It’s just that I can’t help but be disappointed with those things that I have not accomplished in my 34 years. I’m not disappointed with what God has done, but only unhappy with some of the circumstances I find myself in because of my own bad choices and inadequacies.

As I read scripture I find encouragements. As I remind myself of God’s love for me, I find comfort in His affections and His grace. As I place my hope in Him, I’m able to face my struggles head on and to admit that I’m not perfect and I’m not always happy. I have joy because of the Lord, but that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with sadness, disappointment and pain at times.

So tonight I admit that my birthday and the upcoming New Year reminds me that I’m no where near where I want to be. I admit that I have failed myself in many ways and that I do experience pain in the inability to have children. I confess that I do struggle with jealousy as I watch dear friends have one baby after another, though I greatly rejoice with them at the same time. I’m okay admitting these things because I’ve no desire to be fake or to paint a false picture of myself. Life is not all Sunday morning smiles. I’m okay with being real with you and I’m okay with you being real with me. I think that’s how we pray for each other and minister to one another.

Looking forward to 2015, I have so many things I want to change and do differently. I have so many dreams and goals I’d love accomplish. Still, I trust in the Lord that His ways are perfect, and I rest in His grace when I am weak and fail. I appreciate your prayers, dear saints, and I pray for you too, that the Lord will give you clarity, direction, wisdom and courage as you also look to the New Year that’ll be here soon. God bless!

Leave a comment »

Faithfully Fighting Lyme

Fighting Lyme Disease through the power of the living God

Faithful Lyme Warrior

Fighting Lyme Disease by the power of the Living God

easone13

A fine WordPress.com site

Kristeen Nicole Gillooly

Sharing the love of God through music. My voice, His message. Join the conversation.

Life Is A Beautiful Mess

A glimpse into the mess of life and the beauty of grace.

A Brunette's Reflection

Unprofessional Relationship Councilor, WannaBe World Traveler, Trial and Error Cook, and Almost Famous Whatchamacallit