Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

Too Much Self-Love Going On

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Self-love is a modern-day cover up. It’s a scam. It’s a cheap imitation for the love that is supposed to be filling our hearts. You see, self-love isn’t all it’s hyped up to be. Sure, you’ll hear the talk show hosts and the psychologists and the self-help gurus go on and on about it, claiming that self-love is all one needs to have peace in this life. They will tell you that loving yourself is the first priority…

“You need to take care of yourself….”

 

“All that matters is that you like yourself….”

 

“At the end of the day, you only answer to yourself….”
“Do what’s best for you…”

 

“You deserve to be happy…”

 

“You can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself….”

I’ve heard it all my life, and I’m sure you have too. In fact, maybe you’ve said these catchphrases to others at times. Maybe you believe them sincerely. I mean no disrespect or offense when I say that you’ve been greatly misled. Here are some of the reasons why self-love is not our friend, but actually oftentimes our enemy…

  1. Self-love is self-focus and leads to self-centeredness and selfishness. Now that’s a tongue-twister! Self-love is basically a means of shifting all of the focus to yourself. Your focus is on loving yourself so you think about yourself excessively. Since when is your life all about you? I tell you what, the people I’ve known in my life who are the most well-rounded, joyful and peaceful people are those who think very little about themselves. They are too busy being a blessing to others to spend hours and hours, day after day meditating on themselves. In shifting their focus to serving others and seeking the Lord, they find peace and contentment. Self-love makes people believe that it’s all about them. That’s not healthy and not pretty. It can definitely lead to a selfish kind of heart.
  2. Self-love ruins relationships and marriages. That’s right. People who say that you have to love yourself before you can love others are wrong. The ONLY way to truly love others is to lay down your life. The ONLY way to love your husband in the way that God commanded is to be willing to put his needs ahead of your own. The ONLY way to be a good mother is to love those children more than you love yourself. When people focus on self-love, they will eventually come to the conclusion that they are not being treated good enough in their marriage or that they are not being appreciated enough by their kids. We see people committing adultery. We see mothers abandoning their children and running off with a lover. We see men and women filing for divorce like it’s the same as trading in an old car. These are the acts of selfish, self-centered, and self-loving people. They love themselves more than the people they should be giving their lives for, and the result is pain and suffering. In friendship, it gets real old when one friend is constantly talking about herself and never has time to listen, doesn’t it? Self-love destroys relationships and families.
  3. Self-love focus is anti-Biblical.

“But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people” 1 Timothy 3:1-5

 

“Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” Matthew 16:24-25

 

Over and over throughout scripture we are told to love God, love others and serve. We are never told to love ourselves….not once! The truth of the matter is there is no need. It is assumed that we love ourselves because loving ourselves is part of our nature. When God commands us to love others as ourselves, He is assuming (and God’s never wrong) that we do love ourselves. So, you and I already love ourselves plenty. Why do I sometimes hate the person that I am, you may ask? Well, sometimes we hate the sin in ourselves, especially when we have received the Holy Spirit and are filled with conviction.

Sometimes we hate the circumstances of our lives…things that have been done to us or the situation we find ourselves in regarding health, finances, etc. We hate our lives but we don’t hate ourselves. Sometime we really honestly do feel hatred toward ourselves, but the truth is, if we didn’t care about ourselves we wouldn’t feel such strong feelings. We would be indifferent. See, hatred isn’t the opposite of love. Indifference is the opposite of love. The truth is that we love ourselves, and therefore when we hated the circumstances we are in or the person we have become, we feel it strongly.

Friends, there is enough self-love going on. It is leading to divorce. It is leading to worldly pleasures. It leads to people living lives of self-contemplation and missing out on the joy of taking up God’s great commission. We have so much work to do, sisters. We have a world full of lost souls who need Jesus. We have people to minister to. We need to stop looking in the mirror all the time and start looking around us. I guarantee you, when you start looking at others instead of yourself, you’ll be a happier person. In fact, when you let go of your need for self-love, and you focus on God-love and loving your neighbors, you are going to end up liking the person that you are in a true way. That’s the key.

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Comfortable Christianity is Mediocrity

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The title of this blog may sound a bit harsh, but the truth is I truly believe we, the church, have become all too laid back and comfortable in our Christianity, especially here in the United States. While we have experienced the goodness of Jesus and found our salvation in His incredible grace, so many of us have embraced the blessings of being a Christian without being willing to take on the difficulties and challenges that should inevitably come along with it….picking up our crosses and following Christ?

There’s nothing wrong with living a beautiful life in Jesus. There’s nothing wrong with comfort, joy, happiness, success and peace. In fact, we should all be experiencing many of these blessings as we walk with our Lord. Peace and joy are gifts that the Lord offers us at all times and in all circumstances. There’s nothing wrong with having an easy or a successful life as a believer. However, if that is all we’re experiencing, a life without challenge or discomfort at times, then we are missing something. Jesus said this world would hate us because it hated Him. He said we’d have troubles. He said we’d be persecuted. We see Paul’s life and it was one filled with pain and suffering as he took the gospel to the people, and we rejoice with him as he praises the Lord in joy even in prison.

I’m not writing this to condemn a life of comfort, but rather to challenge us all to something better – a life that sacrifices comfort for the sake of truly touching lives and serving others. You see, there are so many Christians (myself included at times) who are just content with enjoying the Lord’s blessing in their lives. They love the Lord and they enjoy their families. They praise Jesus and make Him the center of their homes. It’s beautiful. It’s lovely. It’s a blessing, but it’s not the end….it’s the beginning. The home fire has been lit and it’s warmth, God’s presence, is filing it up with joy, peace and love. Now it’s time to swing open those doors and share that light and warmth with others. It’s only the beginning, you see. That fire of home lights the way for you to take Jesus to your neighbors, the lost, the suffering and the spiritually dead. You don’t keep it inside all to yourself. You don’t sit by your own fire night after night, enjoying it’s warmth and beauty, whilst outside in the cold people are freezing to death.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

You know, we carry the light of Jesus with us when we go into the world to minister to the lost. Still, we can feel the cold out there, can’t we? We see and experience the suffering, don’t we? We look into the eyes of a child in poverty and our hearts break for them. We kneel to pray with a homeless man and our nostrils take in the scent of filthiness and decay. We venture into a home that is filled with darkness and we sense the presence of evil. Yet God is with us. Taking the light to the dark world brings discomfort at times. It brings suffering at times. It brings heartbreak. It brings physical pain and the risk of injury at times. That’s the ministry we are called to, isn’t it? We are all called to serve beyond what is comfortable, whether it’s serving food and the bread of life to the homeless or sharing the gospel with a neighbor whose lifestyle is far different than yours.

I have lived a very comfortable Christianity at times in my life, but I have also experienced what it means to step outside of my comfort zone and really touch people’s lives. I can tell you from my own experience, those times when I ventured beyond the comforts of my own safe Christian porch and stepped out into the darkness in faith and boldness, I returned home with more fire, more warmth, more Holy Spirit empowerment and more joy than those times when I stayed home, out of the storm. It’s in those times that I know my purpose in Christ. It’s in those times that I understand so much deeper the power of Christ to change lives. I never want to go back. I never want to live a life of Christian mediocrity. I don’t want to simply celebrate the life I have in Jesus, but I want to invite the dirty, the broken, the hurting and the lost to the party.

Let’s be willing to be uncomfortable, like Jesus did. Let’s be willing to touch the diseased and dirty, like Jesus did. Let’s be willing to dine and to spend time with sinners, like Jesus did. I pray the Lord would make His people bold, willing and selfless. I pray that He would help me to be less about me and more about serving others. I pray that my comfort never again becomes more important than the eternal salvation of that person He is calling me to minister to. Lord, make me willing and bold! Let’s take His light to the whole world!

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Giving Thanks When it Doesn’t Go Your Way

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“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

1 Thessalonians 5:18

It’s easy to give thanks when the weather is perfect, the bills are paid, the kids are behaving like little angels and you never, EVER get jury summons. No problem! Giving thanks is a piece of cake in these times! For some of us, life doesn’t ever seem to be like this, and certainly there are times in our lives when we all go through hardship and pain. Yet, Thanksgiving is upon us! We are called to give thanks to the Lord in ALL circumstances, amen?

Every year on Thanksgiving we head over to my mother’s house to meet up with my family. Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents all come bringing yummy food and desserts to share. We laugh. We eat. We talk about why we are thankful. We eat. We sometimes sing and play games. We eat more. Basically, we eat and have a great time. It’s something we all look forward to each year…..well, not this year.

You see this year sickness decided to attack just before Thanksgiving. My sweet daughter came down with croup almost a week ago. While she seems much better now, and probably no longer contagious, we are concerned about the risks involved of going because we have a precious nephew with a compromised immune system. One little cold can land him in the hospital for months. So it’s important not to bring germs around him.

With these things in mind, we decided we would stay home for the holidays…just the three of us. I say that with the utmost of affection for our little family unit. I adore my family. Still, there’s something a little sad about knowing you are missing out on the traditional fun. So I could wake up tomorrow and mope, as I pop our little 18 lb turkey in the oven. We could lay around and zone out. We could complain and moan all day, presenting a stellar example for our little sponge of a daughter, but I say NO!

No, we won’t moan and complain. We won’t wear our frowns all day. We are going to have a great time. We will start some new traditions, do worship, play games, talk about how the Lord has blessed us, and there will be food! Oh yes, there will be food! God has told us to give thanks in all circumstances, so we are going to enjoy His blessings and give thanks no matter where we are or what we do!

I pray that whatever you do and however you celebrate tomorrow, that you remember to give thanks to the Lord. He has given His Son to die on the cross for our sins. He has redeemed us! If you have a home, He has provided for that need. If you have food in your bellies, He has given you nourishment. If you have love, thank Him for that love. He has blessed you richly.

Thank You Jesus for all You have done, are doing and will do! We bless Your name and give thanks to You from the depths of our hearts!

 

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Fleeing from Temptation or Flirting with it?

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He’s just a friend. We get together and have coffee from time to time, but just as friends. We just have a lot in common. He’s fun to be with. We’re both married so it’s fine. He has been having some problems in  his marriage so he just needs someone to talk to. He’s a good listener so I feel like I can tell him anything. We’re just friends. What’s the big deal?

As married Christian women, we need to be very careful when it comes to having close relationships with men who are not family (same goes for Christian, married men). Some people blow this off as legalism or simply an old-fashioned concept, but there are many good reasons to avoid these kinds of close friendships with the opposite sex when we are married. This is an important issue and here is why:

  1. Adultery is on the rise.

Adultery is on the rise in America and throughout the world. While it’s always been a problem, it was far less a problem in the days of our grandparents, where some researchers estimate only 9% of spouses under the age of 25 in the 1950’s admitted to having affairs. In 1983 a similar study showed that number to have gone up to 29% of spouses under the age of 25 having had an affair. Today it is estimated that a third of all men and a quarter of all women cheat on their spouses, with more than 50% of marriages being touched somehow by adultery. We shake our heads and say, “ the world is going nuts” and surely it is! What about the Christians?

A study conducted by Christianity Today indicates that some 45% of Christians admitted to having done something that was sexually inappropriate and an astounding 23% confess to having had an extramarital affair. It’s hard to read those numbers. It’s difficult to understand how a man or a woman who love the Lord can sin against Him and their spouse like this. Then again…it’s not so difficult to understand it. Let’s try looking at it from another perspective:

A man and woman have been married for twelve years. They have four children. Both are Christians. For the past two years the man has had a difficult time, losing his job and falling into a bit of a depression. He spends his days searching the internet for a job and usually wants to be alone, because he (like many men) view their self-worth based on how their provide for their family. The wife feels shut out. They aren’t communicating well. She is dealing with the kids all day alone and feeling worn, lonely and frightened about the future. One day at the market she runs into an old friend from high school. He is funny, sweet and they have a lot of fun memories together. They decide to meet up for coffee and when they do they both open up to each other about struggles in their marriages and how they long for something different. These coffee dates become more frequent and the conversation more deep. Suddenly this woman realizes she is having an emotional affair with this man. They both feel the connection and attraction. One day, after she has had an argument with her husband and is feeling rotten, she meets the other man for coffee and, despite their convictions, they give in to their wicked desires. That’s it.

Adultery is something we should never accept or view as anything but evil and wickedness. It destroys families and people. It is a sin that is committed against one’s own body and God hates it. We should hate it too. Yet, we can see, if we are being honest, how it happens. We need to avoid close friendships with the opposite sex. No matter how strong we think we are, we are still weak human beings and sin is a temptress.

  1. Emotional Affairs Damage Marriage Too

We women usually are far more emotional than the men in our lives. We are emotional beings! That’s just how God made us! That’s why we are prone to love romantic comedies and novels that have romance in them. We love the whole emotional side of falling in love and being close with someone. This is why we are more likely to jump head first into an emotional affair if we allow ourselves to be tempted in this way.

What is an emotional affair? It’s when we form romantic feelings for someone who is not our spouse and allow ourselves to engage in a relationship with that person. Now, this doesn’t mean you are dating. The other person might not even realize you have an emotional, romantic attachment. Still, you are living it out by seeking to spend time with the person, opening up and sharing more than you ought to, and fantasizing about more. As women, we can be so overcome by our emotions. These types of emotional affairs can go on for ages. They can be easily hidden. So, is it wrong to engage in this type of relationship? Yes!

Ladies, it may seem like a harmless crush, but it’s anything but harmless. First off all, remember that Jesus warned that as Christians even the thought of adultery is akin to committing adultery. You are committing adultery in your heart and mind. Secondly, you may have no idea how an emotional affair takes a toll on the marriage. While you are madly in love with another man, you are most likely neglecting your husband at home. Instead of meeting his needs for companionship, relationship and sex, you are off fantasizing about someone else. Instead of praying for God to renew your love for your husband and working on drawing closer to him, this emotional affair is pulling away. Your kids will notice. Your friends will too. Your husband will definitely notice. Your marriage will be weakening by the moment. This is serious stuff my friends. Close relationships to the opposite sex is playing with temptation and you have to be careful to guard your heart.

  1. It Doesn’t Look Good

Whether or not you and your friend have any attraction or feelings for each other, a married, Christian woman meeting up regularly and engaging in a close relationship can look like something…even if it’s nothing. In other words, it can appear to be just the tip of the iceberg to strangers, your friends, family, your spouse, the other person’s spouse or maybe even to that other person. Your husband, while trusting and faithful, may start to have concerns about what’s going on or struggle with jealousy. After all, he should be your best friend right? A husband may come to feel replaced or displaces, as it were. It is not loving or respectful to put him in that position. Not only that, but what if your friend has misconceptions about what’s going on?

Let’s say, for example, that you have a good friend whom you have no attraction to whatsoever. You are in love with your husband and in a happy marriage. You would never in a million years struggle with feelings for this friend. He, on the other hand, hasn’t told you that he finds you attractive, is forming romantic emotions towards you, and is considering divorcing his wife because his feelings for you have grown so deep. You may not realize it or see the signs, but to have a very close friendship with a man who isn’t your husband is always a dangerous game…one that’s not worth playing.

1 Thess. 5:22 says we are to abstain from the appearance of evil. It’s not just doing evil that matters. God wants us to avoid even appearing like we are doing or considering doing evil.

“We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day. We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:8-13

Anyone who thinks he stand, lest he falls….wow. Think you are strong enough in your faith not to fall? You’ve got a big problem when you think that. No temptation comes that isn’t common to man. Many men and women thought they were strong enough only to fall hard. It isn’t worth it friends. We need to stand solid on the rock and not go for runs in the quick sand. We need to stand firm and not flirt with temptation. It’s just wise. It’s just prudent. It just makes sense.

I exhort my sisters in the Lord (and brothers accordingly) to not be wishy washy on this issue. Make your spouse your best friend. I encourage you to caution and to avoid close friendships with a person of the opposite gender. Let us not fall into the trap of justifications and carelessness. Perhaps nothing bad will happen, but what if it did? If we allow our hearts to be open without guarding them, someone may come in an snatch them away.

Let’s stand for emotional and sexual purity. Let’s stand for no compromise. Let’s be on guard. I pray that husband and wives would find emotional and sexual fulfillment in one another alone and not to look to anyone else to meet those needs. May we ever be willing to make sacrifices in order to abstain from temptation and keep our minds and bodies pure.

Thank you for reading! Also, make sure to enter my free giveaway that’s going on right now until Nov. 10th. Click HERE to enter.

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Lighten Up and Make Merry!

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My husband loves it when I’m silly. He loves the silly, playful and eccentric me. That’s the girl he fell in love with and he just delights in my carefree silliness. The problem is, when real life gets to be busy, hectic, difficult and downright chaotic, it can be difficult to find a few moments to be silly and playful. We often fall into the trap of being too serious day after day as we deal with trials, packed schedules and the labors of life.

It’s in those times, when our home is filled, not with laughter and playing, but with serious tones and furrowed brows, that we just don’t enjoy each other the way that the Lord wants us to. It’s not to say that we aren’t going to need serious intervals. We know that for everything there is a time. There is a time to mourn and to grieve and to focus. There is a time to meditate on the Lord and to soberly consider issues facing the family. God calls us to be a sober (thoughtful, wise and careful) people. We definitely don’t want to be a bunch of giggling weirdos all the time, but it is a good thing for a family to play, laugh and be silly together.

He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting.” Job 8:21

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22

Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” Psalm 126:2

When life is getting too serious in your home, try a little play time. Tackle your husband and remind him of the carefree girl he married. Make faces, be silly. serve with joy and play with the kids. The thing is, the world has plenty to worry about and a million problems to steal their joy away. While we face trials and tribulations (especially being Christians), we know that our Lord Jesus has overcome the world. You see, we have victory. We have a relationship with the all-powerful God of the universe. We have no need for worry. We do need to be wise and sober, but we can laugh in the face of every trial knowing that God is in control and that He is bigger than our problems. The Proverbs 31 woman laughed at future trials.

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.” Proverbs 31:25

So lighten up! Let go and have some fun with your hubby and your kids. Be silly. Be goofy. Enjoy your time with them and make your home a place of happiness, joy, laughter and love. Rejoice in the Lord always and make merry!

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Laughter is Excellent Medicine

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Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.” Proverbs 31:25

Oh the joy of laughter! I absolutely love to laugh. I love those amazing laughing fits where your tummy starts to hurt and tears are rolling down your cheeks because you are laughing so incredibly hard. I call that “laugh-crying”. I seriously love to laugh, and it’s a good thing too, because laughter is excellent medicine for the soul.

The verse above in Proverbs says that this virtuous woman that we look up to as a role model “laughs at the time to come”. While silly laughter is wonderful, this particular laughter isn’t the result of a good (or bad) joke. This woman isn’t giggling in a young, silly fashion. She is laughing because she is care-free when she peers into the future. You see, she has worked hard and had faith in the Lord, so she is not worried about what’s to come. When you’re not worried, you can laugh. When you laugh, it ministers to your soul and makes for a joyful atmosphere.

Our families need us to be women who can laugh at what’s to come. You see, the way they feel is intertwined with how we react to life. We give them an example and we wives and mommies usually set the tone in our home. If we worry, they will worry. If we are afraid, they will fear. If we are stressed, the stress will start to overtake them as well. Even a young child senses her mother’s emotions and takes them on. A worried mother will see that distress on the face of her child like a mirror reaction.

We need to laugh. The truth is, when we are in Christ, we have nothing to worry about. When we follow Him and devote our home ot Him, we need not fear the future. When we work hard and diligently and we leave the rest in the hands of the Father, we know our home will stand strong. So we can laugh at what’s to come. We can look boldly into the face of the future and laugh aloud knowing that nothing – NOTHING – can destroy a home built upon The Rock of Salvation, Jesus Christ! Amen?

God calls us to be hard workers. When we work hard to prepare our homes, as we read about in Proverbs 31, we can trust that God is going to take good care of us. The future doesn’t scare us. Whatever the Lord wills for our lives will transpire. He is in control. He knows the big picture. He will hold our home together if we are in Him.

You may step out onto your porch and see a storm brewing on the horizon. You see it coming. It may look fierce and cruel. It may seem cold and frightening. You can stand there, stare that storm boldly in the face and laugh until the tears come flowing down. You can laugh because no storm is stronger or more powerful than our big, mighty God. We have done our jobs well and God will preserve us through it so we trade worry for laughter. Our families are blessed. Our home is safe. Our God is glorified. Ah, excellent medicine indeed!

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How to Punish Troublemakers at Church

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“That’s it! She’s done it again! She’s stepped on my toes for the last time! You wouldn’t believe what she did to me this time. I caught her gossiping behind my back and calling me an immature Christian. She told people things I only told her in confidence. She did the same thing to Darlene and Amelia. She also told Rick that Steve said he was ignorant because He believed in baby baptisms. I’ve had enough with this “so called Christian”. Come on girls! Let’s give her a good shunning!”

We’ve all had them. We’ve all experienced them. We recognize them shortly after they arrive, and we have nightmares about them well after they’re gone. They are the church troublemakers. You know who I’m talking about. They are the ones who only open their mouths to complain and rarely have a pleasant word to say about anyone. They love to stir up trouble and division. They use prayer time as an opportunity to gossip. They seem to have no filter on what they say and do. Yep, we’ve all known them.

It can be hard to deal with these kinds of people. Not only are they frustrating and hard to befriend, but they are also often in sin in the ways they deal with their church family. They can be difficult to confront about these issues because they usually react badly and make it worse. Oftentimes they leave and spend years hopping from one church to the next. You can’t say they aren’t saved or judge their hearts, but you wonder where they’re discernment is, where their grace is and how they don’t seem to be maturing spiritually. Paul would call these people weaker brothers and sisters in the Lord. They make you want to scream!

So how do we punish these troublemakers? How do we deal with their frustrating tactics and rude comments? What should we do to handle these people who are clearly stealing joy from the church family as a whole? Ready for it?

What we do is take ahold of them, look into their eyes and say…….well actually. Before I continue, let’s look at an example in scripture when Paul dealt with an issue like this. It seems the church at Corinth had a troublemaker of their own (I’m sure they had many). We never hear his name spoken…..yay Paul for not gossiping, amen? Yet Paul sends the church very clear and very awesome instructions on how to deal with troublemakers.

“Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you. For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him.” 2 Corinthians 2:5-8

How do we punish troublemakers in the church? Love. We love them. We take ahold of them, look straight into their eyes and tell them how very much we love them. And every time they frustrate us, we love them. And every time they sin against us, we forgive them and love them. And when we confront issues, we do it in love. And when they need us, we don’t turn away from them but continue to love.

We punish every offense with the most violent and purposeful love we can muster – and with the power of the Holy Spirit filling us up, that’s a lot of LOVE!

Oh Lord Jesus! Help me to love those who frustrate me and sin against me! I pray Lord to be a more loving person, not just to those that are easy to love, but to the most difficult. Fill me up to overflowing with Your perfect love for Your people! In Jesus’ Mighty Name I pray, AMEN!

Alright folks…..now go punish people with LOVE.

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When There’s Not Enough Hours in the Day

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Some days there are simply not enough hours to complete the tasks that I have on my list. Perhaps it’s better said that there are too many tasks for the number of hours I have available to me, but it feels like the other way around! A typical day includes cooking, cleaning, bathing, disciplining, shopping (groceries is all!), cleaning again (because the house is never clean for long!), teaching music lessons, writing, ministry, cleaning some more, spending time in the Word of God, homeschooling and hopefully getting some family time in before we collapse into lumps on the bed.

Being a wife any mommy is a hard job. If you have to work on top of that, it can be crazy. I work from home, but I still have to pour hours into my work. I have students to the house most days therefore the house always needs to be tidy. There is just so much to do and yet not enough time.

I’ve sometimes looked at my friends and wondered how they have time to do extra things, like baking, gardening, crafting and more. I’ve wondered how they do it? How are their houses always immaculate? How do they have time? How can I have time too? The truth is, there’s no point in looking at the lives of other people and comparing it to your own. It only leads to discontentment and sometimes jealousy.

So what do we do when there’s not enough hours in the day? We need to relax! That’s right…you heard me sister! Relax! I used to think if I didn’t accomplish all my tasks everyday that I was failing. I was a failure as a wife and mommy. Well that kind of thinking is a lie that the enemy uses to get us down. Who’s to say the house has to be perfect all of the time? Where’s the rule that says I can’t take some time off to do something fun, like gardening, and let something else slide for the day? There are tasks we obviously need to do everyday, but sometimes it’s okay to let something go. No need to feel guilt about it.

What we all need to do is evaluate our priorities. I can spend my whole day doing housework, writing, editing, teaching, homeschooling, etc. and find myself completely worn out at the end of the day only to realize I’ve spent very little time with the Lord or really being “with” my family. My daughter is an only child (by the Lord’s planning). On those days when I’m running all day because I want everything to be done perfectly, I look at her face and realize I’m missing out on what matters most to me in the world. The house will be messy again tomorrow (or in a few hours in my house). I don’t want to miss out on the time with my daughter, nor for her to feel that I don’t have time for her.

So when there’s not enough hours in the day, I throw in the towel and I don’t beat myself up about it anymore. What’s not done today may be accomplished tomorrow. If I’ve spent quality time with my husband and daughter, and I’ve spent time with Jesus, and I’ve met my most pressing responsibilities, I can call it a day well spent and let it be.

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