Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

When You Feel Like a Failure

photo credit: freeparking yay via photopin cc

In all of my blogging there has always been one thing I’ve wanted to make perfectly clear….I fail. I’m a sinner. I’m not perfect. Sometimes I do well and sometimes I blow it like everyone else. I don’t write about these topics on marriage because I have always had a perfect marriage or because we never have difficult times. I don’t write these encouragements because I think every other woman needs my advice, but rather because I need God’s advice. That’s what I’m sharing, and it’s as much for me as for anyone else.

That being said, the word “failure” is such a defeating word. I’ve felt like a failure many times in my life and in many different ways. I’ve failed to be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend I want to be. I’ve failed to study God’s Word or pray enough. I’ve failed to show grace in the face of persecution or to love my enemies. I’ve failed to make changes in my life that I know would benefit both me and those around me. Sometimes these thoughts of failure can become overwhelming and steal away our joy and our identity in Christ Jesus.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

As women I think we internalize our mistakes even more. We allow bad choices to become our identity. We don’t compartmentalize. We make a mistake and then paint ourselves all over with that color of defeat and self-depreciation. We compare ourselves to other women and wonder if we measure up. Little do we know that behind closed doors, that perfect woman we so admire and look up to probably has some of her own struggles and issues. Oh ladies, why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we judge ourselves do harshly when we know we have found grace and compassion in our Lord?

The truth of the matter is, it is good to judge ourselves in issues of sin. We do want to examine our hearts and our choices so that we can repent on do better next time. The problem is, so often that examination isn’t about constructive self-criticism with a positive note for improvement going forward. So often it is more about self-condemnation and we lose our new identities in Christ Jesus. We forget who we are in Him. We focus on our failures and forget that we are new and clean and spotless in Him.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1

Well I’m tired of feeling like a failure! I’m tired of failing to meet my own standards. I am ready to embrace the grace of God. I will continue to repent of sin and bad choices. I’ll continue to try to make positive changes. I can do these things and still remember that all have fallen short of the glory of God. In fact, the law shows us that not one of us could achieve perfection on our own. That’s why we needed Jesus in the first place! Should I grieve my sin? Absolutely! Should I strive to live a life that pleases the Lord? Of course! Should I condemn myself as a failure and a loser every time I fall? God forbid! I am a daughter of the King and He loves me. He knows I will fail. I have the covering of Jesus when I fall on my face and the power of the Holy Spirit to get back up and continue the race. In Jesus, I’ll cross that finish line. In Him, I’ve already won!

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. ” Phil 3:13-14

“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. ” 1 Corinthians 15:57

I don’t recommend calling ourselves failures because I believe in Christ Jesus we have a new identity that isn’t about how well we’ve done. We are victors because He has victory. He has made us more than conquerors. All things are possible through Christ Jesus. We are the perfect, spotless bride because He has removed our stains by His spilled blood and broken body. So, while I may feel like a failure and I may become very unhappy with myself at times, I need to remember that my weakness is only an opportunity for God to show Himself mighty and strong. I need to trust in Him that His grace is sufficient and that in Him I am victorious – even when I fail.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10


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