Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

Younger Women Honoring the Elder

“Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5
Younger submit unto the elder. You know I’m going to age myself a bit to say that I think the younger generation has really lost the respect and honor that the older generation was taught to have for their elders. While this lack of respect seems to come from both genders, I’m going to address the young women who are called to submit to the teaching of their elders in the body of Christ.
I’ve met and discipled with some incredible young women in my time. It blesses my heart when young ladies come with open and teachable hearts. I consider myself at their age. Was I so receptive? Did I hunger for instruction as these girls do? I’m proud of these girls, knowing they have so many obstacles in their way as they press forward to Christ. These young ladies take Titus 2 and 1 Peter 5:5 seriously. They seek to learn from the spiritually older women.
Unfortunately for ever one young lady we see seeking discipleship and spiritual teaching, we seem to witness five of their peers turning their back to instruction, turning their nose up at the idea of discipleship and turning their attitudes away from submission and towards self-elevation. It’s not entirely their fault. Society is trying to raise generations of independent, confident and bold young women. In some ways their characteristics are good. We want young ladies to be independent enough to follow Christ alone if need be, confident in the gospel and bold to share the love of Christ. On the other hand, we see the world raising women who think they are too independent to need counsel from their elders, so confident in their own way of thinking that they are unwilling to submit to sound teaching, and bold to disrespect and dishonor elders instead of sitting at their feet of instruction.
For those of us who have daughters, we can see the challenge that lays ahead. The older generation will tell us that, in their time, elders were treated with respect. They would be honored for their years and wisdom. Young people would learn from them and be taught in the solid counsel of the Word. While the world tries to redirect our daughters into a “new” way of thinking that leads to self-focus and, quite frankly, arrogance, we need to train our daughters to walk in humility and to sit at the feet of the older women with open hearts and teachable spirits.
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Won Without the Word

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.” 1 Peter 3:1-2

This verse says it all. What precious words of wisdom! Wives, be in submission to your own husbands. If they do not obey the word, they may be won over without the word by the chaste conversations of their wives. Now this is an interesting verse indeed and one that is sometimes looked at in the wrong way. It says “if any obey not the word.” The “word” is the Greek word “logos” which can mean just a portion of speech, but in most cases refers to the holy Word of God, or the precepts given to man by God. It is also the same word that is used as another name for Jesus Christ in John 1 when it says, “the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” So, the scripture is describing a husband who is not obeying God’s Word and certainly not obeying Jesus Christ.

Now look at the second part of that sentence. It says he may “without the word be won.” Many people look at this passage and think it is saying the husband may be won without his wife saying anything, meaning without her nagging or instruction and so forth. Interestingly this is also the word “logos” and notice it says “THE word” not “A word”. Therefore according to context it makes sense that the scripture is saying the husband may be won over without the Word of God being constantly presented to him, simply by the conversation of his wife. Conversation doesn’t just mean speech either. It is the Greek word “anastrophē” which means, “manner of life, conduct, and behavior.” Husbands can be won over by the example their wives show in their own lives. What manner of behavior or conduct is that? Chaste and reverent behavior is what does the trick. A godly wife can win her husband to the Lord by her pure, good and honorable behavior and by the reverence she shows her husband as she submits to God’s plan for her life. Now that is incredible.

See the picture here ladies? If you husband is in sin, it is not fruitful for you to be preaching at him day and night, usurping spiritual authority over him. Rather, as you honor him, according to God’s Word, and live your life in a way that pleases the Lord, your husband may be won over. This is true also if your husband is a godly man in most respects but has an area of struggle with sin. Do not nag him or criticize him. Pray for him and continue to be the wife God wants you to be, remembering that your submission and respect unto your husband is not based on his love for you or his submission to God. If you refuse to submit it is God whom you are sinning against. If your husband refuses to go with you to church, do not lose heart. As he observes God’s love and truth in your life, he will see the Word being lived out in you. Ask the Lord to use you in this way to minister to your husband.

If your husband asks you to sin, respectfully refuse, explaining why you cannot comply. Pray for him and continue to walk in submission and reverence in all other areas. If your husband is in sin himself, share your concerns with him once in respect and love, if he will listen, and then leave it to the Lord. Pray fervently and be a good example in your own daily conduct. Do not treat him with contempt or look down at him. You should honor him because God says to, not because you feel he has or has not earned it. Just remember that God never wants us to sin under any circumstances, so this is the one area where you must not submit to any other authority.

Your husband is your leader. He is the one whom God desires you to follow. This is a crucial point. God desires you to follow and submit to your husband. By serving your man, you are serving your God. Where he goes, you should follow. His dreams must be your dreams. He is your primary ministry. You are his help-meet, by his side and close to his heart. One flesh blessed by the Lord of all Creation. Being your husband’s helper is so beautiful. Embrace it, ladies. Discover the peace and satisfaction that comes with knowing that you are in the center of God’s will for you, and experience the joys of having a heaven-blessed marriage. Meditate on this passage from the book of Ruth. In it, Ruth is speaking to her mother-in-law, but this is a lovely commitment that a wife can also make to her own husband.

“But Ruth said: ‘Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you. For wherever you go, I will go. And wherever you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried. The LORD do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me.’” Ruth 1:16-17

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Preparing for Persecution

Interesting, but when I was in the process of getting my book published, the only thing I thought about was that I had to get it out and into the hands of my sisters in the Lord. I didn’t even have a thought about how Christian women would receive the message of the book itself. When it was released for purchase, and people began buying the book, I suddenly realized that some who read it would not be entirely pleased with its content. After all, God’s plan for marriage and the roles of a wife are not very widely accepted these days.

For the first time, I began to feel a sense of apprehension and nervousness. These feelings never entered my heart as I penned the words. Yet now I’m keenly aware that I most likely will receive some criticism, opposition and even outrage at some of the points in my book. That wives should take care of their homes, submit to their own husbands, and show honor even when its undeserved…these are not popular concepts. Yet we are not to please the world but to please our Father in Heaven. He created marriage and gave us the blueprints for how to do it right, and His plans are without flaw. They are not based on circumstance or only applicable for ideal situations. God’s Word is true and His promises are solid as stone.

So as I release this book (which can be purchased in the Bookstore here in paperback or Kindle versions), I am aware that I may be persecuted for sharing this message, but I am prepared to face it knowing that God is my refuge and my strength. I will stand upon His Word without fear knowing that He is for me, therefore who can be against me? I have been faithful to His Word and have shared the message He put on my heart. I’m ready to face attacks of the enemy and the world, because my almighty God is greater than the world. I will put my trust in Him. Amen? So bring it on…

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Submitting to My Husband

 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:22-24

If you are a Christian woman the idea of submitting unto your husband’s leadership shouldn’t be too difficult a task for you. You should already be used to submitting unto the leadership of the Lord God and His Word. When we become believers we no longer belong to ourselves, but to Jesus. We commit ourselves to putting His plan for us ahead of our own plans. We ask that His will be done and we commit to submitting to Him in all things. Well, as we read in Ephesians, part of submitting to God’s will is submitting to our own husbands.

The Greek word for “submit” used in verse 22 is the word “hypotassō” which means, “to arrange under, to subordinate, to subject one’s self, to obey, to submit to one’s control, and to yield to one’s admonition or advice.” I love this word “submit.” Before God changed by heart, I feared the word. The word held only bad connotations for me.

The idea of being in submission was akin to being in slavery to some degree. The difference, however, between slavery and submission is monumental. Slaves are forced to be under another person’s control and have no control over their own lives. Submission occurs when someone places themselves under the leadership of another person voluntarily, out of their own free will. When we became Christians we put ourselves under the power of Jesus Christ and submitted our own will to Him. We surrendered control. When Jesus went to the cross, He too surrendered control and willingly submitted to the will of the Father, despite the horrible things He had to endure. What a beautiful act of love! How beautiful it is for wives to submit themselves unto their own husbands just as Jesus submitted Himself even unto the cross!

God commands wives to submit to their own husbands. Not only that, but we are to do it as unto the Lord. In the same way we submit ourselves to God’s authority, so ought we to submit ourselves to our husband’s authority. Unless our husband asks us to do something that is in violation to God’s Word, we should obey him and give him the reigns to direct the marriage and the household as the Lord leads him. The husband should have the final say and make the ultimate decision when a mutual agreement cannot be achieved. He has the right to veto any suggestions and to lead the household as he sees fit in areas of spiritual growth, finances, house rules, the raising and disciplining of children, where to live and how the household should be run. These are not merely my opinions, but the truth straight from God’s own Word.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. It is a good and loving thing for a husband to happily hear the suggestions, advice and opinions of his wife. Usually, if he is truly a good-willed Christian man, he will want to hear what his wife thinks and will care about how she feels. My husband loves to hear my outlook, as long as it is given in a respectful way and without nagging. He almost always asks my opinion when it comes to decision making and often will go with my preference if he doesn’t have a strong conviction either way. At the end of the day, he knows I will support him in his decision and be by his side as his helper whether I agree or not.

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