Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

Brawling and Contentious Woman

“It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.” Proverbs 25:24 

 

“A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.” Proverbs 27:15 

The Hebrew word for “brawling” and “contentious” is actually the same word, “midyān”. It describes the woman who is always nagging, moaning, unhappy, complaining about something, and ever-so-difficult to please. Men like the call this type of woman “high maintenance” and it makes perfect sense that men married to “high maintenance” women often walk around defeated and deflated. They can never win!

Why is this same basic sentence repeated over and over in Proverbs? Are we seeing a pattern? Repetition indicates importance in the Bible. We can clearly see from these passages that the Lord knew and recognized that nagging was, is and probably will continue to be a huge problem. Is a woman who fits this description attractive?

I think we often observe other women behaving in this way and easily recognize it as annoying or just plain ugly. However, we are often unaware when we slip into an attitude of nagging ourselves. We nag our own husbands constantly for not praying long enough, watching too much television or not mowing the yard, but we hate it when our mother nags us about how we cook, clean or care for our kids. Why is one okay and the other not? We have to constantly remind ourselves that nothing good is accomplished by nagging. In fact, when you nag your husband, in some ways you are interfering with the work God may be doing in his heart.

What’s better? Is it better that your husband does what you ask because you nag him or because God has laid it on his heart? Is it more satisfying to know he does these things to get you off his back or because he loves you and wants to please you?

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Created for our Husbands

“And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help-meet for him.” Genesis 2:18

“For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” 1 Corinthians 11:8-9

            It is interesting to look at the way God illustrates the importance of man having a suitable helper. In the book of 1 Timothy 3:12 it says, “Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.” This verse is fascinating. God is instructing the church on how to discern if a person is qualified to be a deacon. He gives a list of requirements and one of them is to be the husband of one wife. Now many view this verse to primarily express God’s displeasure with men having more than one wife. I agree that this verse makes that point very clear. God designed marriage between one man and one woman. However I think it is interesting that He does not mention an exception for single men. God says that a deacon should be the husband of one wife. Why? Perhaps it is necessary for someone with that degree of responsibility in the church have a helper. You wouldn’t see an executive in a business functioning without an assistant. He needs someone there to help him while he is trying to accomplish his tasks and work hard for the big boss. Consequently, leaders in the church are in the service of the Lord and it makes sense that they would need the support of a wife to do all to the best of their ability. The Word gives the same requirement of a bishop.

God gave the woman Eve to the man Adam to be his helper and the greatest gift of his life. He created woman for the purpose of serving, honoring and loving her husband when she does wed. Are you married? If so you were created to be your husband’s most suitable and exquisite helper; one that he cherishes and honors because of your undying commitment to him. Being a wife and a helper is a beautiful responsibility and it places you in a place of tremendous honor.

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A Perfect Helper

“And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help-meet for him.’ And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help-meet for him.”         Genesis 2:18-20

Now, I am the kind of woman who likes a good, old-fashioned inductive look at these passages. Getting back to the original language and all possible translations can often give us a better idea and a more complete picture of what the Lord is saying to us. After all, why does the King James Bible use the word “help-meet” in this passage to describe the woman He was about to fashion? One would think a more appropriate word would be “lover” or “dream girl” or something of that nature. Of course, God knew what He was doing and there is so much we learn simply from this very word. Let’s take a closer look.

The Hebrew word for “help-meet” is the word “`ezer”, which means a “help, an aide, a succor, or one who helps.” Basically God was saying that it was not good for man to be alone and that he needed a helper. Adam had everything good in the Garden of Eden. He basically had a sweet deal. Talk about the ultimate bachelor pad! He had the beautiful scenery, of which we cannot possibly imagine, freedom, the animals, no hard labor, no heavy responsibilities, no mortgage payments…are you starting to get the picture? Adam had it made. He was literally the master of all God had given unto his charge. So, why did he need a helper? Why did he need a wife?

We can’t assume to know the answer to that question. We do know that God said it was not good for man to be alone. Perhaps the man was lonely. We know that God intended all living things to be fruitful and multiply, and clearly a suitable partner was required for that act. Maybe God knew that Adam would never stop for directions if he didn’t have an efficient wife in the passenger seat! Regardless, God made Eve to be a helper, or help-meet, for her husband. Everything God makes is good, so it is good for man to have a wife. We can trust God’s plan. Many of the world’s finest Biblical teachers and shepherds will acknowledge the support of their wives, their helpers, as being crucial in their ministries.

Ladies, this may come as a shock to you because it’s not usually worded this bluntly in today’s society, but if you are married, then you were created for the primary purpose of being your husband’s helper. You were created to encourage him, build him up, help him accomplish the tasks God has given him, and to meet his needs. You are indeed your husband’s helper and it’s a beautiful calling to have upon your life.

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Kisses Better Than Wine

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.” Song of Songs 1:2

Let him kiss me…love is better than wine. Very romantic words here in this poetic passage of scripture. There are a lot of people who would be shocked to know that the Bible had such romantic language in parts. I think a lot of unbelievers wrongfully assume that Christians must not be very sensual or into romance as the world because we see pre-marital sex, adultery and pornography as sins that we refrain from. Their big mistake is thinking that the most fun forms of sexuality come hand in hand with perversion, immorality and self-destructive lusts of the flesh. I would argue that the most beautiful, free, satisfying and completely blissful sexual experiences are those had within the covenant of marriage, between a husband and a wife who know that their God is pleased with their union.

Let him kiss me… There is much to be said for a kiss and there are various forms of kissing too. 1 Corinthians 16:20 speaks of a “holy kiss” and says, “All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss.” So this is not a romantic kiss but one that is brotherly or sisterly in nature. Today most people shy away from friendly, cheek-kissing and that’s fine. Today so much of what once was good and holy is now perverted, which has ruined it for the rest of us.

Throughout scripture we see father’s kissing their sons. We see friends kissing each other as a sign of allegiance. We have women kissing the feet of Jesus as a form of worship and adoration. We also see the kiss of betrayal from Judas in the garden. So kissing can mean many things and have many purposes, but  this kiss in the Song of Songs is most definitely a romantic, firework kind of a kiss between a man and a woman very much in love.

Let him kiss me…I love how she says that. She is encouraging the kisses from her man. She wants his closeness and affections because his love is better than sweet tasting wine to her. Ladies, a kiss can go a long way with our husbands. Sometimes, at the end of a long day, when the kids have been running around like lunatics, the house is still a mess after hours of cleaning, and dinner is overcooked and under-appreciated, the last thing on our minds is giving our husband kisses and affection. The funny thing is that a kiss can be so redeeming, so needful and so healing on these days. It fills up our hearts and reminds us we are loved. We may have failed at everything else that day, but we can sure make that kiss count!

So let us be abundant in the affections we show our husbands. Let him kiss me for his love is better than wine, chocolate, Staburcks…yes even Starbucks!

 

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