Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

The Importance of a Vow

Some couples choose to use more traditional vows, while a popular choice these days is to write one’s own vows. Unfortunately many couples of either preference seem to miss the point altogether because rarely do they even understand what a “vow” is and its importance. What is a “vow”? To whom are we making our “vows”? What happens if we break a “vow”? These are questions that should be answered and understood before young couples arrive at the chapel.

According to the Random House Dictionary, a “vow” is a “solemn promise, pledge or personal commitment.” It can also be defined as a “dedication”, usually made in earnest or with great passion. In the Bible, vows were a spiritual matter and a contract that was binding according to God’s law. Most vows were made directly to God as a promise to behave in a certain way or achieve specified goals.

An early example of a vow is found in Genesis 28, during the famous “Jacob’s Ladder” account in scripture. In Genesis 28:20-22, it says:

“And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, ‘If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on, so that I come again to my father’s house in peace; then shall the LORD be my God: and this stone, which I have set for a pillar, shall be God’s house: and of all that thou shalt give me I will surely give the tenth unto thee.’”

In this case, Jacob is making a vow that is conditional. He is vowing to serve, honor and obey Jehovah God as long has God takes care of his needs and guides his steps. The great thing about this conditional vow is that it hinges upon God doing what God is going to do without fail because it’s His character. God is going to take care of Jacob, just like He is going to provide for all of His children. He does it because He has promised to do it in His Word. So Jacob vows conditionally, but really it has an unconditional outcome because we know God will not fail to be who He is. God’s promises endure forever. In Him there is no shadow of turning, amen? God never breaks His promises. The question is, will we? Hold onto that question in your heart for a while.

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I Take Thee

“I take thee…”

The first words of most traditional wedding vows contain three small but powerful words, “I take thee…”. They may seem unimportant and be brushed over, but these three words are the start to one of the most important commitments people make in this lifetime. Following these words is a list of ways in which a person commits her life to the mate of her choice. So these three tiny words are actual of monumental importance.

When we look at our beloved and say, “I take thee…” what are we really saying? Well, the Word of God uses the word “take” often to refer to a man “taking” a wife.

““The LORD God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from the land of my family, and who spoke to me and swore to me, saying, ‘To your descendantsfn I give this land,’ He will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there.” Genesis 24:7

The word “take” in Hebrew can be translated to: to take, take in the hand, to carry along, take in marriage, receive, accept, select, and to choose. When you say those words to the person whom you are about to marry, you are basically saying “I choose you.” “I select you.” “I receive you.” “I accept you.” “I’ll carry you along with me.” “I take you.”

When we say those words, we are making a commitment to choose none other. We are committing to receive and accept that one individual for the rest of our natural lives on earth. This is an exclusive action. It means consequently that I will reject the attentions from any other person. I will never give to anyone else what I am giving to you. I take the gift of your heart and will seal it up in mine for as long as God gives us breath. I take thee…

Have you forgotten your vow to take your beloved? Remember today those precious words that you spoke however long ago it was. Bring to remembrance the commitment that you made to take your beloved and none other. May the Lord bless your marriage as you stand upon your vows.

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Do Christians Focus Too Much on Marriage?

I have heard more than a couple times people criticizing some Christians and churches for focusing too much on the God-given and God-designed union of marriage. I’ve heard people make statements like, “oh it’s all about marriage at that church” or “they elevate marriage too much.” I wanted to address the issue of why marriage is an important topic to discuss, but first I’d like to talk about why there are people who seem to be offended by too much marriage talk.

People like myself, who feel called to the ministry of marriage, may sometimes struggle with being understanding of a person who seems almost anti-marriage. The truth in most cases is those who have a hard time with a church or a group focusing a lot on marriage  are usually people who are single, widowed or in a lonely, struggling marriage. It’s important that instead of getting frustrated, we understand that these ladies are going through pain. Perhaps hearing about marriage all of the time and seeing married couples always clinging to each other causes them to long even more for that relationship. Perhaps it makes them mourn for a lost love. Even worse, it reminds them that they feel trapped in an unloving marriage. Sometimes there is a problem with the church not meeting the needs of ALL the members. The singles and widows need focus too. They need ministry and opportunities to serve too.

I think I understand their perspective more so being a woman who has struggled with infertility. While children are such a blessing, and I was always happy for a sister in the Lord who had a baby, there was also such hurt and longing in me that it was sometimes difficult to be around pregnant women or people with babies. It was hard to see the children being such a focus when I couldn’t have any. I’m so grateful now for my precious little girl –  a gift straight from God! I do, however, see how a single person or widow would feel neglected and hurt by a church family that focused all its attention on marriage.

That being said, while I feel we should not neglect or ignore anyone, there is an important place for marriage. Here are some reasons why marriage is an extremely important issue to focus on:

1. Marriage is Gift from God: God focuses a lot on relationships in the Bible, and He speaks a great deal on the topic of marriage. He created marriage in the book of Genesis and He make it sacred. He made it to be a lifelong covenant, and in Malachi 2 we see that God hates the act of divorcing. When Jesus is asked about divorce in Matthew 19:8, He said that divorce was allowed because of the hardening of hearts, but from the beginning it was not so. God never wanted divorce. That’s why marriage vows typically say “til death do we part”, and yet to some 41-44% of couples who marry today, those are just empty words.

2. Christian marriage produces godly offspring: In talking about marriage Malachi said, “But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring.” Malachi 2:15a. Christian marriage is important to the youth of this generation. According to the US Census Bureau, grown children of happily married parents are about 14% less likely to divorce their own spouse. Of all children, close to half will witness the end of their parents’ marriage and, of those kids, half of them will witness the end of a parent’s second marriage as well. According to an article by the Huffington post, children of divorce are seven times more likely to suffer from depression. Also, of all the adolescents in substance rehabilitation clinics, some 75% are from single-parent homes. Similar statistics are true for prison. Marriage is important because a godly marriage is good for children.

3. Marriage is a reflection of our relationship with God: Ephesians 5 and other parts of scripture show us that earthly marriage is a reflection of the relationship of Christ and the church. We are the bride and He is the Bridegroom. “Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls filled with the seven last plagues came to me and talked with me, saying, “Come, I will show you the bride, the Lamb’s wife.” Revelation 21:9

4. A godly marriage is a requirement for church leadership, elders/pastors and deacons. (Titus 1:6, 1 Tim 3:2, 1 Tim 3:12). A man whose home in not in order should not be serving in church leadership until he puts things right. That means a wife who is not living her life according to God’s statutes can disqualify her husband from leadership by her conduct. Does this mean that a man has to be married to serve? We don’t know if the emphasis of the verses in on the “one” wife or “husband”. In other words, is it important that he’s married, or just that he only has one as opposed to many? Well, God said that it wasn’t good for man to be alone and he needed a helper. On the other hand, Paul said that some are called to singleness. So, the answer is: I don’t know. What we do know for certain is that if a man is married, and he wants to serve in ministry, he should have his home in order.

5. Sex: That’s right! “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:2 According to God’s Word, sexual intimacy is only good and right inside the union of marriage. Today more and more couples choose to live together and put off getting married. They are living in sexual sin because marriage has lost its place of importance to much of the younger generation. Today people are shocked when two virgins in their twenties get married. It’s rare for people to hold onto their purity. So it’s important to focus on marriage and to teach the young people that sex is only okay inside marriage.

There are many more reasons that marriage is an important topic, but this is quite a long blog already. While we need to be careful not to exclude singles and our widows, we also need to focus even more on the union of marriage. We know that it’s important to God, so it should be important to us too.

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Why Marriage? Why You?

With the release of my book, “Keeper of His Home”, and the upcoming speaking engagements, I have been asked by several people to explain why I write and speak mostly about marriage. People have asked me why I feel called to this issue, especially in that I’ve only been married 8 years myself. Why is it a topic that is so important to me?

In the Introduction of my book I share my testimony which sheds a little bit of light on that subject. I come from a broken home of divorce myself. My mother was a Christian and my father was not. My father was an adulterer (frequently) and verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive to my mother. Childhood was hard. I was sixteen when the divorce went through and my father married his mistress, raising her kids. I didn’t have a relationship with him for 8 years, and even then it was labored and awkward. I can happily share that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, I was able to forgive him in the end and tell him I loved him the day he passed away. Praise the Lord!

Why marriage? Well, I don’t honestly know. All I can say is that the Lord has put the burden of marriage heavily upon my heart. I look around and see marriages ending, marriages in trouble and families being torn apart. I see statistics that send a shiver down my spine. I see the faces of children being caught in the middle and it breaks my heart. God had a plan when He created marriage, and this wasn’t it folks. This wasn’t it. His Word gives us the answer of how to have His plan for marriage actuated in our lives.

Why me? Again, I don’t really know. To be honest, I’m not the most perfect candidate. If there were any misgivings, let me lay them on the table now. I don’t have a perfect marriage. In fact, I’d say my marriage has been a hard one from the start. My husband and I honestly barely knew each other when we got married and have both changed so much since then (for the good I think). If not for God’s Word, I don’t think we would have made it, but this message changed my heart. While we don’t have a perfect marriage, we have a happy home. We have peace, joy and Jesus! We have a beautiful daughter whom we love dearly. She has parents who love each other through God’s love and respect and honor one another according to His Word. Do we make mistakes? YES! We make mistakes but God’s grace is sufficient and each year we get better.

Proverbs 5:18-19

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.  A loving doe, a graceful deer– may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.”
 
God has called me to the ministry of marriage and I accept that calling, knowing I’m inadequate, ill-equipped and unqualified. Thank the Lord He uses the weak things of this world to confound the strong! If your women’s ministry would like me to come and share at one of your events, feel free to contact me. God bless you!
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Preparing for Persecution

Interesting, but when I was in the process of getting my book published, the only thing I thought about was that I had to get it out and into the hands of my sisters in the Lord. I didn’t even have a thought about how Christian women would receive the message of the book itself. When it was released for purchase, and people began buying the book, I suddenly realized that some who read it would not be entirely pleased with its content. After all, God’s plan for marriage and the roles of a wife are not very widely accepted these days.

For the first time, I began to feel a sense of apprehension and nervousness. These feelings never entered my heart as I penned the words. Yet now I’m keenly aware that I most likely will receive some criticism, opposition and even outrage at some of the points in my book. That wives should take care of their homes, submit to their own husbands, and show honor even when its undeserved…these are not popular concepts. Yet we are not to please the world but to please our Father in Heaven. He created marriage and gave us the blueprints for how to do it right, and His plans are without flaw. They are not based on circumstance or only applicable for ideal situations. God’s Word is true and His promises are solid as stone.

So as I release this book (which can be purchased in the Bookstore here in paperback or Kindle versions), I am aware that I may be persecuted for sharing this message, but I am prepared to face it knowing that God is my refuge and my strength. I will stand upon His Word without fear knowing that He is for me, therefore who can be against me? I have been faithful to His Word and have shared the message He put on my heart. I’m ready to face attacks of the enemy and the world, because my almighty God is greater than the world. I will put my trust in Him. Amen? So bring it on…

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Part 7 – Love Does not Seek Its Own, The Loving Homekeeper Series

“…love does not seek its own..” 1 Corinthians 13:5

What does it mean to “seek ones own” in terms of love? It’s an interesting phrase and also interesting that most of the various translations have it the same way. Some add that love does not “seek its own things” and another shortens it to being “self-seeking”. The NLT says love “does not demand its own way”. When it comes down to it, what the Lord is basically saying is that His kind of love—the real kind—is not selfish, self-seeking, self-focused and self-pleasing. Self, self, self!

It’s not difficult at all to get caught up in self in the world we live in today. Every magazine, therapist and politician we see and hear proclaim that we need to take care of ourselves first and foremost. I cringe to think of a Christian sister going to the world for counsel because she will be bombarded with messages of self-love, self-focus and self-gratification. She is told that she needs to care for herself first before looking to meet anyone else’s needs. She will be told to search within herself for the answers instead of searching out the Word of God and His heart. She is told to neglect her family in order to seek out her own way in life. She is told if she doesn’t like her husband she should leave and follow her dreams. Who cares about her husband and children? They can take care of themselves, right?

I think that most of the reasons people have for getting divorced today boils down to this very important point—this point which has been lost in a social sea of self-seeking corruption. It all comes down to seeking one’s own instead of others. Love does not seek its own. If more people understood this there would be so fewer divorces and strained marriages. Love does not seek its own! Its so simple and yet so corrupted by the wickedness of this world!

Sisters, do not be deceived. God has not called us to be self-seekers but self-sacrificers! God has not called us to be self-gratifiers but selfless servants. God has not called us to be self-focused but to be self-abandoners so that we may truly be lovers of the hearts of our husbands, children, family and friends. We were not created to be selfish beings. We don’t need more self-esteem, we need more God-esteem. We need to take our eyes off of ourselves and put them directly on Jesus Christ.

I have known many women who have suffered with depression and anxiety. I myself battled with it at times in my life and I can tell you from experience that those times when I have been most depressed and most anxious were the same times that I was taking my eyes off of the Lord and putting them on my self. Self-focus causes sin. It causes pride, bitterness, self-love, arrogance, depression, anxiety, self-harm—the truth is it is toxic to the heart of a believer. We need to stop looking at the mirror and start looking to the sky and to our Creator for fulfillment, happiness, joy and love. He is the source. There is nothing good within us and everything good in Him.

Love does not seek its own. Love does not seek itself or demand its own way. Love is giving. Love is selfless. Love is self-sacrificing and humble. Oh Lord, let us keep our eyes fixed firmly on You and let us abandon ourselves so that we can be perfected in Your love!

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Part 4 – Love Does not Parade Itself, The Loving Homekeeper Series

“…love does not parade itself…” 1 Corinthians 13:4

This phrase “parade itself” is one of those translational difficulties that makes it difficult for us to truly grasp the concept here. The translation about is New King James Version. Let’s look at a few other translations:

“charity vaunteth not itself” KJV

“love does not brag” NASB

“love…is not boastful” NLT

Looking at the various translations gives us a better idea of what this phrase is saying. Love is not boastful, does not brag, does not parade itself as if on display or vaunt itself. Basically it is referring to a self-display or putting oneself on something of a pedestal. It reminds me of when Jesus spoke of the religious people and how they loved to stand in the streets praying loudly so that all could see them. They were not doing this to get closer to God or to draw others to Him. They were putting their religion on display so that others would see it and would consider them more spiritual. Perhaps they even wanted to inspire envy in others.

Love does not parade itself. True love, the kind that comes from God, is not motivated by what other people see. As a wife and mother, we are called to love our husband and children. We act out that love in a variety of ways: words, touch, acts of service, etc. We show our loved ones how much they mean to us in our actions and words, and it is that agape love that should motivate us to do this. Where we get into trouble is when we are not motivated by love but rather by how others view us.

I had a friend years back who seemed to always be putting on a show for the rest of us whenever we were together. She would go on and on about how wonderful her marriage was, how perfect her children were and how lovely life was in general. While we should all rejoice in the blessings God has given us, we do have to be careful that we are not doing the things we do or saying the things we say to put on a show for other people so we look better in their eyes. Our love should be our motivator, or it is simply not genuine.

Think of a parade. The participants sit on a float that’s all decorated fancy and wave and smile. Those big smiles say nothing about what’s really going on in their lives. It’s a show. It’s a spectacle. It’s not real life. Love is not a show or a parade. Love needs to be genuine and real. Love is not boastful so that others will envy our lives. Love is authentic.

We have all put on an act at one time or another in our lives. It’s hard sometimes to be real. As a homekeeper, we can have the picture perfect home, family and lives and still not have the genuine article. So let me not boast to the world of my perfect marriage, shockingly obedient child, spotlessly clean home, and unwavering, steadfast faith that I might be seen as some super-spiritual love guru. Instead let me embrace my husband, even when its been a long, tiring day. Let me remind him that I love him and will follow him after we’ve had a disagreement. Let me discipline my child for not obeying and then give her a long hug to assure her of my deep love for her. Let me serve my family by working hard to make a warm, happy home for them and show hospitality even when it’s not in perfect order.

Love does not parade itself. Real love is not about impressing other people. It’s about what how you love behind closed doors, on the bad days, when everything is not perfect, when trials come and obstacles arise. Love is about overcoming the challenges together. Love is about serving through good and bad weather. Sisters, don’t let your love be just a show or a way to boast. Instead, love in truth and may love always be your motivator for being the keeper of your home.

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Love Your Husband

“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:3-5

Aged women should instruct the younger women to love their husbands. Now this can seem like a funny statement to some women, especially to younger wives and newlyweds. It seems to be a silly thing to advise someone, for surely a young wife loves her husband automatically and without hesitation at all times. That’s why she married him, right? It’s certainly true that most people truly love each other when they get married. They have a passion for one another and that blissful feeling that they will live happily ever after. How many women go into a marriage knowing it’s going to be a failure? Even early on in our marriages, or before the wedding itself, we must study the Word and pray about why God would include in this verse that older women should teach younger women to love their husbands. The Lord wouldn’t have included it if it were not something we needed to know. It’s important we understand what the word “love” really means and how loving our husbands could mean something different to them than it does to us.

The first thing to consider is the culture at the time that this scripture was written. People during this period had a far different idea of love then we do today, and that is due in part to the typical nature of arranged marriages. Today most people choose their own spouses, and therefore will only marry someone they love emotionally. In the days of the early church, women and men were matched for marriage by parents and for all manner of reasons. It was tradition, and in most cases it worked out just fine. Many wives at the time this passage was being written would have been placed into an arranged marriage, and therefore might not have feelings of love for their husbands right from the start. It was not unusual for men and women to be betrothed before they even met. These wives did not start loving their husbands until after their marriage began. They therefore were instructed by older women to choose to love their husbands, and often the feelings of love would develop later in the marriage over time.

This concept reminds me of one of my favorite books by author Janette Oak, “Love Comes Softly.” In this book a woman must marry a complete stranger out of sheer necessity. He is respectful and kind to her, and her affections begin to grow towards him slowly but surely over time. I highly suggest reading this book or watching the movie version. It will certainly make you laugh and cry! As this book so rightly presents, love sometimes comes after time, as respect for a person grows and develops into deeper feelings. Ultimately, in these cases, a woman chooses to love by being the wife God has called her to be, regardless of her immediate emotions and feelings.

Love is not simply a feeling. It is also a choice. Every woman of this generation can agree that love in the early stages of courtship and marriage is much different than in the later years. It starts out as an exciting burst of emotion that can hardly be contained. As time goes by, love is still there, but it changes and develops into even deeper forms of love, respect and honor of one another. Sometimes women in their super-emotional states will feel confused by this change and will think love has faded or gone. Or perhaps the husband begins to behave differently than he did the beginning. Husband and wife are becoming more comfortable with one another and less apt to try to impress each other. Romance just doesn’t have that flare it used to. Perhaps problems have developed in the marriage, and your husband is simply not acting in a loving way, which makes your feelings of love for him diminish. Perhaps it is you who are not living up to your commitments within the union.

There are many reasons the feelings of love change in marriage. Couples often joke that after the first couple years their sex life dwindles, as if that’s the norm in all marriages today. In a lot of homes, I’m sure it is the case. No matter what the cause or symptoms for these changing emotions, women must remember that love is also a choice. We can choose to love and respect our husbands regardless of how we feel at the moment, or whether or not he deserves our love. Just as we can choose to have a good attitude and to take our bad thoughts captive, we can choose to love in deed and truth with the power of the Holy Spirit. This is what the aged women are trying to teach the younger women and it is an important message in a world where people are filing for divorce because they simply “fell out of love.” You can fall out of a boat but you choose to stop loving someone.

According to Titus 2, God wants wives to love their husbands whether they deserve it or not. This commandment is between us ladies and God. He is the one instructing us to love our husbands, and if we disobey, it is the Lord we are turning our backs on. If we obey, it is the Lord who sees and will be honored by our obedience to love. Choose God’s way ladies. Love your husbands whether they deserve it or not. Keep on loving them when times are hard, and never withhold your love from your man.

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Submitting to My Husband

 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:22-24

If you are a Christian woman the idea of submitting unto your husband’s leadership shouldn’t be too difficult a task for you. You should already be used to submitting unto the leadership of the Lord God and His Word. When we become believers we no longer belong to ourselves, but to Jesus. We commit ourselves to putting His plan for us ahead of our own plans. We ask that His will be done and we commit to submitting to Him in all things. Well, as we read in Ephesians, part of submitting to God’s will is submitting to our own husbands.

The Greek word for “submit” used in verse 22 is the word “hypotassō” which means, “to arrange under, to subordinate, to subject one’s self, to obey, to submit to one’s control, and to yield to one’s admonition or advice.” I love this word “submit.” Before God changed by heart, I feared the word. The word held only bad connotations for me.

The idea of being in submission was akin to being in slavery to some degree. The difference, however, between slavery and submission is monumental. Slaves are forced to be under another person’s control and have no control over their own lives. Submission occurs when someone places themselves under the leadership of another person voluntarily, out of their own free will. When we became Christians we put ourselves under the power of Jesus Christ and submitted our own will to Him. We surrendered control. When Jesus went to the cross, He too surrendered control and willingly submitted to the will of the Father, despite the horrible things He had to endure. What a beautiful act of love! How beautiful it is for wives to submit themselves unto their own husbands just as Jesus submitted Himself even unto the cross!

God commands wives to submit to their own husbands. Not only that, but we are to do it as unto the Lord. In the same way we submit ourselves to God’s authority, so ought we to submit ourselves to our husband’s authority. Unless our husband asks us to do something that is in violation to God’s Word, we should obey him and give him the reigns to direct the marriage and the household as the Lord leads him. The husband should have the final say and make the ultimate decision when a mutual agreement cannot be achieved. He has the right to veto any suggestions and to lead the household as he sees fit in areas of spiritual growth, finances, house rules, the raising and disciplining of children, where to live and how the household should be run. These are not merely my opinions, but the truth straight from God’s own Word.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. It is a good and loving thing for a husband to happily hear the suggestions, advice and opinions of his wife. Usually, if he is truly a good-willed Christian man, he will want to hear what his wife thinks and will care about how she feels. My husband loves to hear my outlook, as long as it is given in a respectful way and without nagging. He almost always asks my opinion when it comes to decision making and often will go with my preference if he doesn’t have a strong conviction either way. At the end of the day, he knows I will support him in his decision and be by his side as his helper whether I agree or not.

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Using the Tongue to Build Up or Break Down

“A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.” Proverbs 9:13 

The Hebrew word for “clamorous” is the word “hāmâ”, which means, “roars, noisy, disquieted, troubled, loud, tumultuous or raging.” Basically, the foolish woman is a loud-mouth. She constantly feels the need to tell everyone where they should be going and what they should be doing. She is never quiet and content, but always finds something that she feels she must put right. Perhaps she has a word quota to meet each day, but kind and uplifting words of affirmation don’t count!

We need to look in the mirror and ask ourselves if we are clamorous. Do we love to hear ourselves talk? Do we have to be right all the time? Do we think we always have the right answer? Are we just plain loud all the time? While we may think this makes us look wise, the hard truth is it makes us look foolish, and does not encourage affection from our husbands. When you ask your husband why he loves you, would you be offended if he said, “I love you because you have a big mouth, tell everyone what to do and nag me constantly”?

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath…” James 1:19

 

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1 

A woman’s mouth can either be used to build up those around her or to tear them down and destroy them. The tongue can be such a dangerous thing; the match that starts a raging wildfire. With only a few words you have the ability to encourage, edify and show love to your husband and children, building them up. Words of affirmation are a help-meet’s best friend. Use them whenever you can. Give your husband praise for being a good provider in the home and taking care of you and the kids.

This manner of edifying communication is good in the sight of the Lord. However, if you then use the next breath to discourage, wound and humiliate, would you not consider that foolish? Words are powerful tools. How will you use your words today? Will you use them to criticize and nag you husband for not taking the trash out this morning, or will you use them to whisper sweet words of affirmation in his ear as he heads out to work, knowing he will be thinking about you all day? The choice is yours sister. Don’t make yourself a fool.

            “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.” James 3:10

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