Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

Why Marriage? Why You?

With the release of my book, “Keeper of His Home”, and the upcoming speaking engagements, I have been asked by several people to explain why I write and speak mostly about marriage. People have asked me why I feel called to this issue, especially in that I’ve only been married 8 years myself. Why is it a topic that is so important to me?

In the Introduction of my book I share my testimony which sheds a little bit of light on that subject. I come from a broken home of divorce myself. My mother was a Christian and my father was not. My father was an adulterer (frequently) and verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive to my mother. Childhood was hard. I was sixteen when the divorce went through and my father married his mistress, raising her kids. I didn’t have a relationship with him for 8 years, and even then it was labored and awkward. I can happily share that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, I was able to forgive him in the end and tell him I loved him the day he passed away. Praise the Lord!

Why marriage? Well, I don’t honestly know. All I can say is that the Lord has put the burden of marriage heavily upon my heart. I look around and see marriages ending, marriages in trouble and families being torn apart. I see statistics that send a shiver down my spine. I see the faces of children being caught in the middle and it breaks my heart. God had a plan when He created marriage, and this wasn’t it folks. This wasn’t it. His Word gives us the answer of how to have His plan for marriage actuated in our lives.

Why me? Again, I don’t really know. To be honest, I’m not the most perfect candidate. If there were any misgivings, let me lay them on the table now. I don’t have a perfect marriage. In fact, I’d say my marriage has been a hard one from the start. My husband and I honestly barely knew each other when we got married and have both changed so much since then (for the good I think). If not for God’s Word, I don’t think we would have made it, but this message changed my heart. While we don’t have a perfect marriage, we have a happy home. We have peace, joy and Jesus! We have a beautiful daughter whom we love dearly. She has parents who love each other through God’s love and respect and honor one another according to His Word. Do we make mistakes? YES! We make mistakes but God’s grace is sufficient and each year we get better.

Proverbs 5:18-19

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.  A loving doe, a graceful deer– may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.”
 
God has called me to the ministry of marriage and I accept that calling, knowing I’m inadequate, ill-equipped and unqualified. Thank the Lord He uses the weak things of this world to confound the strong! If your women’s ministry would like me to come and share at one of your events, feel free to contact me. God bless you!
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Part 3 – Love Does not Envy, The Loving Homekeeper Series

“Love does not envy.” 1 Corinthians 13:4

As I meditate on the concept of true, Godly love not be envious or jealous, and how that affects me personally as a keeper of the home, I find that it is quite relevant to my day to day life. In fact, jealousy and envy is one of the sins I struggle with more often. Studying the word’s origins is quite revealing. The word for “envy” is the Greek word “zēloō” which can be translated to “burn with zeal, to be heated, to boil with envy, hatred or anger, jealousy, to covet”. Interestingly, the same word can be used for a good type of zeal and can also be translated to mean “to be zealous in the pursuit of good, to desire one earnestly, to strive after one”.

When we think about pursuing someone with all your heart, the only One we should pursue with that intensity is Jesus Christ. At the same time, our amazing Savior is pursuing us and has a righteous jealousy towards us. That’s amazing and beautiful. What an honor to be pursued by the King of Kings! We can see that this word zēloō is to show us the type of zeal and burning we should have to follow after Christ with all that we have within us.

So how do we know when zēloō is righteous and when it is sin? Easy. The only zēloō that is good is when we are chasing after the Lord when we want more and more of Him and are never satisfied until we have all of Jesus in our lives. Chasing after anything other than the Lord with that heart becomes envy, jealousy, coveting, idolatry and sin. So here’s where we fall into danger.

I mentioned earlier that I struggled with envy. I certainly do. I envy women who I see as being more beautiful than myself. I sometimes struggled with envying others for their material possessions, their beautiful homes, their nice cars, their lack of struggles  to pay the bills each month. Being one that struggles with fertility issues, I have envied women who have been able to have babies easily. I admit that I have had to repent for envying women who seemed to have much better and easier lives than I. That envy, when left to rule our hearts, can turn to anger and hatred. It can cause us to burn on the inside and eats us alive. I’m ashamed that I have ever looked at a sister in the Lord and been so jealous of her that I burned with anger, but I have. I also have repented and am forgiven, praise Jesus!

Envy is not love and it does not produce love. Furthermore as a homekeeper, when I am envious of another woman’s home because it is beautiful, larger than mine, she has nice things, etc. I am being incredibly ungrateful for the home the Lord has given me and entrusted into my care. When we become ungrateful for what we have, we don’t care for what we have as we ought to. In other words, my lack of gratitude, brought on by envy, causes me to be a poorer homekeeper. When our eyes are always on the house across the street, we take our eyes off of our home and how we can make it special for our family. We may have not have the biggest or nicest house on the street, but we can make our home warm and joyful for our family and that’s what matters.

We must put off envy. We should not be chasing after material, earthly things, but sprinting towards Jesus all the time. Let us not be envy our sister’s home, possessions or even children, but let us be grateful for the family and home God has given us. Love does not envy. Let us love.

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I am Tired and Heavy-Laden

“‘Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.'” Matthew 11:28-30

Are you tired and heavy-laden? Burdened down by the weight of trials and tribulations in your homes, community, church and family? If you are feeling heavy-laden, you are not alone. We live in a world full of burdens indeed and so often we feel that we have too much to bear on our shoulders, yet we know God only gives us what we can handle. In the scripture above the word for “labor” is to “grow weary, tired and exhausted from toiling; to labor with wearisome effort.” The word “heavy-laden” is one that can also be translated as “loaded down by a burden”. We get a picture of a person who is struggling to carry on under the gross weight of a burden too heavy for any person to carry alone. Yes, too heavy to bear alone. That’s why Jesus finished so mercifully with an invitation to take upon ourselves His yoke.

This yoke has a double meaning. A yoke was a bondage that was placed around the necks of cattle to keep them working together as a team, pulling a cart or farming equipment. The yoke kept the cattle moving the same direction. Two cattle pulling a heavy load together evenly distributes the weight so that the burden is lighter. Jesus offers his yoke to us. His burden is light because He is a mighty, powerful God! We are never alone in our burdens when Jesus is carrying them with us! We can trust Him!

The yoke is also a reference to the difference between the Law and God’s new covenant. The Law put a heavy burden upon the people that they could not bear or fulfill. It was a bondage of chains that brought condemnation and defeat. Then the grace of God came and melted those chains with the blood of a pure and spotless Lamb. His yoke is easy and light because all we have to do to receive salvation is give Him our hearts and follow. We are not bound by the heavy Law but free in Christ’s redeeming sacrifice. We still strive to please Him in our lives, but we do that because of our love for Him and gratitude of changed hearts.

Tonight as I write this I am heavy-laden and burdened. Burdens are pressing down and all around I see people suffering. I see my own failures and repent of my sins. I am burdened for the lost and dying—for those who don’t know the love of Christ. I am tired of the struggle, the trials and the tears. Yet, as I read His Word and dwell on His goodness, my strength is renewed. My heart is refreshed and my burdens lighten. I feel Him place His yoke on me and bid me to come His way. I hear Him comfort me with Words so sweet and gentle and I know He will make goodness of all of the badness in this world. He will make beauty from ashes.

So I thank the Lord that this heavy-laden woman is not left to carry the burden alone. When I can’t walk anymore He will carry me. When I don’t have the Words to speak, the Spirit will intercede for me. When I am troubled by the trials, He will comfort my broken heart. Praising Jesus tonight, for His yoke is easy!

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:28-31

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Serve the Lord with Gladness

“Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.” Psalm 100:2

God is so good and His mercy endures forever. Women, we are creatures of emotion. We all know it to be true, especially during times of hormonal imbalance, right? I am the worst when it comes to P.M.S. and letting my emotions get the better of me. We can be so sensitive and our moods can fluctuate so rapidly that our husbands sometimes don’t even have the ability to keep up. I know that it is hard to dwell in joy.

We have all the struggles that anyone else does. We have had problems with finances, infertility, health and much more. I will be perfectly honest with you; sometimes it is not easy for me to be joyful. My emotions take over and I’m swept over by waves of sadness and grief. I have a need to cry sometimes or to go for a long, hot bath and just listen to my Savior comfort me. Life is not easy and I want to make it clear that there are times for tears. There will be a time for mourning and weeping. There will be times when it is right to grieve.

We will lose loved ones, experience sickness, be hurt by unbelievers and sometimes fellow believers—it is right and appropriate to feel sad and express sadness when there is loss, pain or suffering. What we must remember, however, is that the Lord’s joy and mercies are new every morning. There will be a time for tears, but there will also be a time for the tears to give way to smiles. There will be a time for mourning, but there will also be a time for the mourning to turn to dancing. There will be a time for grief, but there will be a time when the grief is covered with joy. As Christians, we know these trials are but for a short time and then we will see the glory of the Lord. In Revelations we see that God will wipe away every tear from our eyes and we will spend eternity praising Him for He is so worthy.

Return to joy, dear ones, and do not let yourself dwell in sadness, but in the peace of the Lord. Cry when you need to, but live in joy. Do not let sadness and discontent rule you, but let the Lord fill you with the precious hope He has for you. Do not be chained down by discontent, but allow the Lord God of Israel to be your fullness and your portion. Do not fret and worry, but rejoice knowing in full assurance that the God of all Creation will meet your needs and bless you exceedingly with His love and mercy. There is much to rejoice about, so make a choice today that you will live out His joy in your heart, blessing your family, your husband, and your Maker.

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Practicing Hospitality

“For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not self-willed, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate…” Titus 1:7-8

One of the ways we serve the Lord as keepers of the home is to open the doors of our home to others and show hospitality. The Guest Room is all about using your home to bless others. I do want to make it clear right from the start, however, that you are to only show hospitality as long as your husband has agreed to it and does not mind. Remember that your first calling is to submit to your own husband so do not disobey him even in order to do thing that would be considered good or right. That being said, hospitality is a beautiful calling and one that God has spoken of often in His Word.

The passage above from Titus (also found in 1 Timothy) is a list of qualifications for a bishop in the church. A bishop would be an overseer or elder in the church body. He is held to a high standard because he will take on the responsibility of caring for the body of Christ and it is a big deal. So part of the qualifications for a man to become a bishop is that he must be a lover of hospitality. He doesn’t just tolerate hospitality, but he loves it. To understand what that means we need to know what the word “hospitality” really does mean.

Looking up the Greek word we can see that there is not much to go on. The word simply means “hospitable or generous to guests.” It doesn’t say much. In the dictionary the word “hospitality” means: “the friendly reception and treatment of guests or strangers, the quality or disposition of receiving and treating guests and strangers in a warm, friendly or generous way.” So hospitality is welcoming guests and strangers. This is fantastic! Who knew that as Christians we were to be welcoming strangers? We would have if we were reading the Bible as we should be because it says so right there.

“Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” Hebrews 13:2

I love this verse in Hebrews because it ties right in with the story of Lot. When the angels came to his town he showed them hospitality and brought them into his home. He was indeed entertaining strangers unawares! Then we see his family was the only one to be brought outside of Sodom before the firestorm. God wants us to welcome strangers and guests into our lives, whether it be at home, in the church, or wherever we can serve them. We should also be welcoming our church family into our homes and sharing life with them. In the book of Acts, the disciples of Christ and New Testament Christians went from home to home each night, breaking bread together and talking about Jesus. This is the kind of close-knit relationships we are meant to have within the body of Christ. I believe the church family should be so close that we are connected in unity, but we should also be ever-so ecstatic to open our arms to strangers and draw them in.

 “Use hospitality one to another without grudging.” 1 Peter 4:9

We are to extend hospitality and also do so with a good heart and attitude. Have you ever invited a family from church over for dinner and forgot that you had a very busy day planned and ended up running around like a lunatic all day to get the house in order, the groceries bought and the dinner cooked before your guests arrived? I have done this very thing. You love having people over but the added work can sometimes be a heavy burden and that can lead to complaining and grumbling. God wants us to show hospitality to others with a good attitude. He wants us to enjoy it. How can we make ourselves enjoy what is a difficult task to accomplish? We are as prepared as possible and we realize that God is not asking us for perfection. The house doesn’t have to be immaculate, nor the meal sublime, in order to extend hospitality. The more you practice hospitality, the more it will become a way of life and a part of life that is not stressful but pleasant.

This gift of hospitality is one way that God knits our hearts together with others from our church body. My husband I believe that having close relationships within the church is very important. We therefore try often to have other families over for dinner in order to get to know them better, find out how they are doing, and simply edify one another in the Lord. If I waited until my schedule was clear or my house was in perfect array before I invited anyone over, we would miss a lot of good, uplifting fellowship time with our brothers and sisters.

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She Does Him Good and Not Evil

“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” Proverbs 31:11

The virtuous wife has found favor in the sight of her husband. His heart safely trusts her. The word “trust” in verse 11 is the Hebrew word “batach” which means, “to trust or trust in, have confidence in, be secure in, or to feel safe.” This husband knows that his wife is trustworthy. He feels safe and secure with her. He doesn’t worry that she will turn on him, leave him, mock him, insult him or shame him in any way. He doesn’t fear she will embarrass him in public or flirt with another man when he’s away. His heart trusts her because she has given him no reason to doubt her.

As he trusts in her in every manner of household and family life, he has no need to go searching elsewhere for his needs to be met. In other words, he knows she will be wise with their living supplies, so he doesn’t need to go scrapping somewhere else for it. This certainly can also apply to sex. Although it is never okay for a man to cheat on his wife, some men are more tempted to do so because of the lack of intimacy they receive at home. This man doesn’t need to look elsewhere for his sexual needs to be met, because his wife is meeting them.

“She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12

What a beautiful statement. It is so general and yet can be applied to even the smallest of daily activities. This wife has no desire to do evil to her husband. She does not speak badly about him to her friends. She does not chastise or mock him. She gives him good food, good clothes to wear, and good loving. She will always do what is best for him and will never be cruel. Her life’s purpose under the Lord is to do good unto her husband. She cares for her husband, raises his children and takes care of his home. It is a total, lifetime commitment to excellence, service and love. Wow.

      “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.”

Proverbs 31:23

A man can be honored or dishonored by his wife. She can be a crown to him or shame that rots his bones. Have you ever been with a couple where the wife is constantly putting down her husband or mocking him, and you can just see in his eyes that she has crushed him? I heard wives do this to their husbands and it makes me so sad for them. They do not respect their husbands, nor are they being a wife who edifies and builds up, but one who tears down and breaks. Ladies, if this is you, it’s time to make some serious changes.

A virtuous wife adds to the good reputation of her husband. She does not spoil or ruin his reputation. When she is in public or with other people, she does not criticize or complain about her husband. She does not share about his bad habits or the stupid things he’s done. She does not make him sound like a fool or embarrass him, whether he is present or not. This includes when speaking to friends one to one. Speaking badly about your husband is NEVER acceptable ladies. The virtuous wife builds up her husband in all circumstances. She brags about his wit and good business decisions. She compliments his hard-work and dedication. She dotes on him and says uplifting things about him, especially when he is there to hear it. This builds up your husband. Show your respect for him publically that you can be a crown to him and add to his reputation.

Furthermore this wife has taken care of her husband and household so that others are impressed. She provides him good clothing, feeds him well and takes care of the home. He will not be ashamed to bring friends over, because she has kept the home in respectable shape. She has trained their children to be respectful, so that they are not an embarrassment to their father, but obedient and polite. A man with a wife like this can be proud of his family and home, and this means more to him than we are likely to understand. Step up to the plate ladies. It’s your turn. How can you honor your husband today?

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Using the Tongue to Build Up or Break Down

“A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.” Proverbs 9:13 

The Hebrew word for “clamorous” is the word “hāmâ”, which means, “roars, noisy, disquieted, troubled, loud, tumultuous or raging.” Basically, the foolish woman is a loud-mouth. She constantly feels the need to tell everyone where they should be going and what they should be doing. She is never quiet and content, but always finds something that she feels she must put right. Perhaps she has a word quota to meet each day, but kind and uplifting words of affirmation don’t count!

We need to look in the mirror and ask ourselves if we are clamorous. Do we love to hear ourselves talk? Do we have to be right all the time? Do we think we always have the right answer? Are we just plain loud all the time? While we may think this makes us look wise, the hard truth is it makes us look foolish, and does not encourage affection from our husbands. When you ask your husband why he loves you, would you be offended if he said, “I love you because you have a big mouth, tell everyone what to do and nag me constantly”?

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath…” James 1:19

 

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1 

A woman’s mouth can either be used to build up those around her or to tear them down and destroy them. The tongue can be such a dangerous thing; the match that starts a raging wildfire. With only a few words you have the ability to encourage, edify and show love to your husband and children, building them up. Words of affirmation are a help-meet’s best friend. Use them whenever you can. Give your husband praise for being a good provider in the home and taking care of you and the kids.

This manner of edifying communication is good in the sight of the Lord. However, if you then use the next breath to discourage, wound and humiliate, would you not consider that foolish? Words are powerful tools. How will you use your words today? Will you use them to criticize and nag you husband for not taking the trash out this morning, or will you use them to whisper sweet words of affirmation in his ear as he heads out to work, knowing he will be thinking about you all day? The choice is yours sister. Don’t make yourself a fool.

            “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.” James 3:10

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Provoke Not Your Children to Wrath

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

 While this verse specifically mentions “fathers”, it is clearly the will of God for all parents; both fathers and mothers. We can assume that because the husband, or father, is meant to be the head of the household under God’s commandment, and therefore the wife and mother would follow his lead in this matter. Therefore this verse does apply to mothers as well. So, what is it saying?

The word “provoke” is the Greek word “parorgizō” which means, “to provoke, to exasperate, or to rouse to wrath.” Parents are not to rouse their children to wrath. Sounds simple enough, but how can we accomplish this? After all, kids get angry if you say they aren’t to eat a bag full of candy, or if you turn off the television and ask them to help with the chores. The Lord is not telling parents to give children whatever they want to keep them happy. He is instructing parents to keep our side of things clean, and to search out areas in our parenting where our bad decisions, actions and language is causing unnecessary wrath in our children. For example, nothing angers a child more than favoring one sibling over the others. While parents will often deny doing this, I’ve seen many examples of families where one child is treated more favorably than the others. Perhaps he or she is the star athlete of the family, or the one with the greatest desire to learn. Meanwhile, little brother just doesn’t seem to take to sports and struggles with mathematics and science. Parents must always love these children equally and give them the same amount of nurturing, encouragement and quality time.

Children will sometimes accuse parents of favoring one sibling even if it’s not the case. My own brothers still tease my mother to this very day that I was always her favorite. While I hope and am sure they know this is not really the case, and that my mother loves us all equally, it is often the joke brought up at family gatherings. Parents will not be able to eliminate all instances of anger, but we can limit them by being cautious and examining our actions often.

Another mistake that parents fall into is one of inconsistency. Now this can be the match that lights up a fire in your child’s heart. This is an area I have struggled with and continue to fail quite a bit in my short time with my sweet daughter. Inconsistency with the rules, the discipline and the rewards can cause anger within your child. Kids need boundaries they can depend on. If you set a boundary and then bend or break it from time to time, children will be confused about what they can and cannot get away with. When they repeat the action that previously resulted in no punishment, but this time there is a consequence, they will become angry and rebellious. Be consistent. If something is against the rules, it must be handled the same way every time that rule is broken. Children need stability and consistency in their lives, and it is a loving parent who provides these.

Thirdly, children will be stirred up to wrath because of the sin of their parents. Children are always watching and listening. They hear when parents fight and speak cruel words to one another. They watch when mom is disrespectful to their father or dad is being unloving to their mother. They will spot hypocrisy when parents put on happy Sunday church faces and then become other people behind closed doors. Nothing used to make me more upset as a child then when people would talk about how wonderful my dad was and they never knew how things were at home. He was wonderful in public and kind and generous to everyone. Then, once we were home and it was just the family, his attitude, language and behavior would completely change. Your children are watching. Make sure what they see in you is a godly example of Christ and not a life of hypocrisy.

            “The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.” Proverbs 20:7

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Being Discreet

“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:3-5

The word “discreet” is the Greek word “sōphrōn” which means, “of a sound mind, sane, in one’s senses, curbing one’s desires and impulses, self-controlled and temperate.” Being discreet is to be controlled and disciplined in all areas of your life. That does not mean you cannot have fun. A classy woman can certainly be discreet and have fun at the same time. Just don’t get out of control and make a fool of yourself!

Whenever I think of this word, the first image that pops into my mind is of one of those classic actresses from the black and white movies who were so well-put together and graceful at all times. These ladies were proper and dignified. They did not open their mouths for rude and obnoxious comments to come forth. They did not behave as if they were intoxicated, being loud and brassy and forceful. They were controlled, reserved and discreet. While generations and times are changing, and we the classy women of yesterday’s films have been replaced by crude and immodest women who are anything but disciplined, God’s desire for the role of the wife has not changed. And secretly, although men of today may be scared to say so for fear of being persecuted by the liberal left-wing feminists, most husbands still want a discreet wife by their side.

So what characteristics make one discreet? In public, a woman’s behavior should be dignified and controlled. Dress appropriately and modestly. Today, too many women in the church are dressing as if they are trying to get attention for their bodies. Wives, your body is for your husband alone, so cover up that exposed skin and dress in a way that speaks of your modesty. When speaking to others, try not to be too loud or boisterous. Do not squeeze your way into other people’s conversations unless you know it’s appropriate. Do not be forceful and avoid gossip by any means necessary. When speaking of your husband, never criticize him in front of others, even when he is not present. Build him up and speak only positive things. Talking disrespectfully about your husband, whether he is there or not, is a sin according to God’s Word. Furthermore, be cautious about what you share in conversations. Do not disclose all aspects of your personal life, especially if you know your husband would not approve.

Be reserved and ladylike. Femininity is beautiful to the Lord and to your husband. Do not be afraid to be soft, gentle and feminine. This is for public or private life. It is still important to be discreet at home with your hubby and children. In other words, do not be loud-mouthed, bossy or masculine at home either. When your husband comes home from work, let him come home to a pleasant home and a wife who is looking good for him. While wearing sweats and having your hair up in a messy ponytail on your head is comfortable and fine for cleaning house, try and make yourself pretty by the time your man walks in that door. He will appreciate it.

Being discreet includes your actions. A woman who runs up thousands of dollars on her credit card on impulse buys is not being discreet. A woman who hangs her bras out to dry on a clothesline in the front yard in the middle of town is not being discreet. A woman who screams at her kids in the grocery store when they are misbehaving is not being discreet. The Lord desires us to be a people of discipline and self-control. The world is full of people acting and talking however they like with no regard to discretion. Your discreet attitude will not only make your husband and children proud of you, but it will be a witnessing tool to others as they notice that something is different about you and begin to seek it out. Be discreet.

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Prudent Wife

“House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.” Proverbs 19:14

The word “prudent” is the Hebrew word “sakal”, which means “to have understanding, comprehension, to full grasp something, to give insight and to cause to prosper.” It’s an interesting word that can be translated in several ways, but the ultimate view here is that a woman who has understanding, wisdom and insight is a gift from God.

You may be thinking, “I wish my husband would read this!” Well, that’s not really the point here of this scripture. We certainly don’t want to bang our husbands over the head with our Bibles and teach them that they should be grateful for having such wise and prudent wives, now should we? What we, as wives, can take from this verse is that we should desire to be prudent, wise, understanding and insightful wives for our husbands, which the Lord says will bless them, as well as our children. So what is the source of this prudence and how can we achieve it?
“In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.” Proverbs 10:19

Here we learn a valuable “Do Not” in our quest to become prudent wives. The word “wise” in this proverb is the same as the word “prudent” above. Many wives think it is their duty to constantly give their input, lecture, seminar…whatever you want to call it…day by day to show their wisdom and prudence. Not so. He that refrains his lips is prudent, wise, insightful. In other words, a wise wife knows when to talk and when to bite her tongue. Amen?

“I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.” Psalm 101:2

Here the word “wisely” is again that same word for prudent. How will I show prudence? I don’t need to speak a million words (which can sound like nagging and a dripping faucet) to show that I am wise. I will show it in my home, in my day to day activities, in my perfect behavior. I will be an example in my home of understanding because a woman who understands fears the Lord and knows His great love and mercy, which empowers her to live according to His Word. In my home I will show prudence by serving my family, submitting to my husband, lovingly training my child/children, worshiping my Lord, praying, being hospitable, patient, kind and forgiving.

So remember sisters that actions speak louder than words. Stop talking about prudence and start living it out. I pray that someday I might be counted as a prudent wife and a gift from above to my family.

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Kristeen Nicole Gillooly

Sharing the love of God through music. My voice, His message. Join the conversation.

Life Is A Beautiful Mess

A glimpse into the mess of life and the beauty of grace.

A Brunette's Reflection

Unprofessional Relationship Councilor, WannaBe World Traveler, Trial and Error Cook, and Almost Famous Whatchamacallit