Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

She Does Him Good and Not Evil

“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” Proverbs 31:11

The virtuous wife has found favor in the sight of her husband. His heart safely trusts her. The word “trust” in verse 11 is the Hebrew word “batach” which means, “to trust or trust in, have confidence in, be secure in, or to feel safe.” This husband knows that his wife is trustworthy. He feels safe and secure with her. He doesn’t worry that she will turn on him, leave him, mock him, insult him or shame him in any way. He doesn’t fear she will embarrass him in public or flirt with another man when he’s away. His heart trusts her because she has given him no reason to doubt her.

As he trusts in her in every manner of household and family life, he has no need to go searching elsewhere for his needs to be met. In other words, he knows she will be wise with their living supplies, so he doesn’t need to go scrapping somewhere else for it. This certainly can also apply to sex. Although it is never okay for a man to cheat on his wife, some men are more tempted to do so because of the lack of intimacy they receive at home. This man doesn’t need to look elsewhere for his sexual needs to be met, because his wife is meeting them.

“She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12

What a beautiful statement. It is so general and yet can be applied to even the smallest of daily activities. This wife has no desire to do evil to her husband. She does not speak badly about him to her friends. She does not chastise or mock him. She gives him good food, good clothes to wear, and good loving. She will always do what is best for him and will never be cruel. Her life’s purpose under the Lord is to do good unto her husband. She cares for her husband, raises his children and takes care of his home. It is a total, lifetime commitment to excellence, service and love. Wow.

      “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.”

Proverbs 31:23

A man can be honored or dishonored by his wife. She can be a crown to him or shame that rots his bones. Have you ever been with a couple where the wife is constantly putting down her husband or mocking him, and you can just see in his eyes that she has crushed him? I heard wives do this to their husbands and it makes me so sad for them. They do not respect their husbands, nor are they being a wife who edifies and builds up, but one who tears down and breaks. Ladies, if this is you, it’s time to make some serious changes.

A virtuous wife adds to the good reputation of her husband. She does not spoil or ruin his reputation. When she is in public or with other people, she does not criticize or complain about her husband. She does not share about his bad habits or the stupid things he’s done. She does not make him sound like a fool or embarrass him, whether he is present or not. This includes when speaking to friends one to one. Speaking badly about your husband is NEVER acceptable ladies. The virtuous wife builds up her husband in all circumstances. She brags about his wit and good business decisions. She compliments his hard-work and dedication. She dotes on him and says uplifting things about him, especially when he is there to hear it. This builds up your husband. Show your respect for him publically that you can be a crown to him and add to his reputation.

Furthermore this wife has taken care of her husband and household so that others are impressed. She provides him good clothing, feeds him well and takes care of the home. He will not be ashamed to bring friends over, because she has kept the home in respectable shape. She has trained their children to be respectful, so that they are not an embarrassment to their father, but obedient and polite. A man with a wife like this can be proud of his family and home, and this means more to him than we are likely to understand. Step up to the plate ladies. It’s your turn. How can you honor your husband today?

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Created for our Husbands

“And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help-meet for him.” Genesis 2:18

“For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” 1 Corinthians 11:8-9

            It is interesting to look at the way God illustrates the importance of man having a suitable helper. In the book of 1 Timothy 3:12 it says, “Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.” This verse is fascinating. God is instructing the church on how to discern if a person is qualified to be a deacon. He gives a list of requirements and one of them is to be the husband of one wife. Now many view this verse to primarily express God’s displeasure with men having more than one wife. I agree that this verse makes that point very clear. God designed marriage between one man and one woman. However I think it is interesting that He does not mention an exception for single men. God says that a deacon should be the husband of one wife. Why? Perhaps it is necessary for someone with that degree of responsibility in the church have a helper. You wouldn’t see an executive in a business functioning without an assistant. He needs someone there to help him while he is trying to accomplish his tasks and work hard for the big boss. Consequently, leaders in the church are in the service of the Lord and it makes sense that they would need the support of a wife to do all to the best of their ability. The Word gives the same requirement of a bishop.

God gave the woman Eve to the man Adam to be his helper and the greatest gift of his life. He created woman for the purpose of serving, honoring and loving her husband when she does wed. Are you married? If so you were created to be your husband’s most suitable and exquisite helper; one that he cherishes and honors because of your undying commitment to him. Being a wife and a helper is a beautiful responsibility and it places you in a place of tremendous honor.

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A Perfect Helper

“And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help-meet for him.’ And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help-meet for him.”         Genesis 2:18-20

Now, I am the kind of woman who likes a good, old-fashioned inductive look at these passages. Getting back to the original language and all possible translations can often give us a better idea and a more complete picture of what the Lord is saying to us. After all, why does the King James Bible use the word “help-meet” in this passage to describe the woman He was about to fashion? One would think a more appropriate word would be “lover” or “dream girl” or something of that nature. Of course, God knew what He was doing and there is so much we learn simply from this very word. Let’s take a closer look.

The Hebrew word for “help-meet” is the word “`ezer”, which means a “help, an aide, a succor, or one who helps.” Basically God was saying that it was not good for man to be alone and that he needed a helper. Adam had everything good in the Garden of Eden. He basically had a sweet deal. Talk about the ultimate bachelor pad! He had the beautiful scenery, of which we cannot possibly imagine, freedom, the animals, no hard labor, no heavy responsibilities, no mortgage payments…are you starting to get the picture? Adam had it made. He was literally the master of all God had given unto his charge. So, why did he need a helper? Why did he need a wife?

We can’t assume to know the answer to that question. We do know that God said it was not good for man to be alone. Perhaps the man was lonely. We know that God intended all living things to be fruitful and multiply, and clearly a suitable partner was required for that act. Maybe God knew that Adam would never stop for directions if he didn’t have an efficient wife in the passenger seat! Regardless, God made Eve to be a helper, or help-meet, for her husband. Everything God makes is good, so it is good for man to have a wife. We can trust God’s plan. Many of the world’s finest Biblical teachers and shepherds will acknowledge the support of their wives, their helpers, as being crucial in their ministries.

Ladies, this may come as a shock to you because it’s not usually worded this bluntly in today’s society, but if you are married, then you were created for the primary purpose of being your husband’s helper. You were created to encourage him, build him up, help him accomplish the tasks God has given him, and to meet his needs. You are indeed your husband’s helper and it’s a beautiful calling to have upon your life.

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