Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

Why Marriage? Why You?

With the release of my book, “Keeper of His Home”, and the upcoming speaking engagements, I have been asked by several people to explain why I write and speak mostly about marriage. People have asked me why I feel called to this issue, especially in that I’ve only been married 8 years myself. Why is it a topic that is so important to me?

In the Introduction of my book I share my testimony which sheds a little bit of light on that subject. I come from a broken home of divorce myself. My mother was a Christian and my father was not. My father was an adulterer (frequently) and verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive to my mother. Childhood was hard. I was sixteen when the divorce went through and my father married his mistress, raising her kids. I didn’t have a relationship with him for 8 years, and even then it was labored and awkward. I can happily share that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, I was able to forgive him in the end and tell him I loved him the day he passed away. Praise the Lord!

Why marriage? Well, I don’t honestly know. All I can say is that the Lord has put the burden of marriage heavily upon my heart. I look around and see marriages ending, marriages in trouble and families being torn apart. I see statistics that send a shiver down my spine. I see the faces of children being caught in the middle and it breaks my heart. God had a plan when He created marriage, and this wasn’t it folks. This wasn’t it. His Word gives us the answer of how to have His plan for marriage actuated in our lives.

Why me? Again, I don’t really know. To be honest, I’m not the most perfect candidate. If there were any misgivings, let me lay them on the table now. I don’t have a perfect marriage. In fact, I’d say my marriage has been a hard one from the start. My husband and I honestly barely knew each other when we got married and have both changed so much since then (for the good I think). If not for God’s Word, I don’t think we would have made it, but this message changed my heart. While we don’t have a perfect marriage, we have a happy home. We have peace, joy and Jesus! We have a beautiful daughter whom we love dearly. She has parents who love each other through God’s love and respect and honor one another according to His Word. Do we make mistakes? YES! We make mistakes but God’s grace is sufficient and each year we get better.

Proverbs 5:18-19

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.  A loving doe, a graceful deer– may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.”
 
God has called me to the ministry of marriage and I accept that calling, knowing I’m inadequate, ill-equipped and unqualified. Thank the Lord He uses the weak things of this world to confound the strong! If your women’s ministry would like me to come and share at one of your events, feel free to contact me. God bless you!
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Gracious Woman

“A gracious woman retains honor, but ruthless men retain riches.” Proverbs 11:16

I love this verse. It’s really a wake-up call and a reminder of what’s important in life. We so often get it all backwards. I know I do. Then God gives us a beautiful scripture like this and reminds us that there is more to life than what the world seeks. There’s more than riches and wealth, fame and power. There’s more important things than achieving worldly beauty or fighting for position. A gracious woman retains honor.

Graciousness is a beautiful characteristic of how God describes an honorable woman. The word could be translated to mean “favor, grace, charm, having found grace in someone’s eyes.” The idea here is that a woman who is seeking the Lord walks in His grace and is consequently a gracious woman herself. She is humble, kind, generous, loving and sincere. She walks in integrity and dignity, as befitting a daughter of the King. She is also generous and charitable, not looking down on the poor but feeding them. She is gracious, slow to answer with harshness and quick to forgive in love. She retains honor because she walks in the grace of the Father. She knows where she came from and how much she has to be grateful for, and she therefore has no interest in chasing the material things of the world but rather enjoys the honor of the Father.

I love the word that is used here: “retain” or “retaineth” for the KJV fans. A gracious woman retains honor. That word retains is the Hebrew word “tamak” which means “to grasp, hold, support, attain, lay hold of, hold fast.” Notice that the translation covers the before and after of the verb? It means we are to grasp or lay hold of something and then we are also supposed to hold fast to it. It’s a continual process. We lay hold of honor and then we keep honor purposefully. Well, the laying hold of honor happens when we become daughters of the King, doesn’t it? When we become joint heirs with Christ, because of His amazing sacrifice on the cross, we are given a certain honor. It’s an awesome thing that God does. He calls us daughters! Then, as we walk with Him, we must walk in a way that holds fast to that honor. We walk in grace. Can we lose that honor and dishonor ourselves? I believe we can. I believe we do when we get distracted by those pollutions of the world again. We can set aside the honor we’ve received, but we can also take it up again by simply turning our eyes back to Jesus and accepting His grace and favor.

A gracious woman retains honor…she walks in honor and keeps honor because she is walking with her Father the King and seeking Him in all that she does. While she walks in honor, there are ruthless, strong and terrifying men and women seeking riches. If we want to seek riches instead of the honor that God gives via His grace poured out upon us, then we can choose that, but it will never satisfy. It will never bring joy and peace. It will only bring emptiness and despair. Riches of this world fade and will eventually burn, but God’s grace and honor endure forever.

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