Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

When Your Husband is in Sin

No doubt there are going to be times when your husband is in sin. We all sin and we are married to sinners. The Word says if we claim to have no sin we make ourselves liars, which is a sin! So dear, imperfect wife, your imperfect husband will most assuredly sin from time to time. If he is not a Christian, then he will be often in sin and without remorse or conviction, and you need to know how to deal with that.

First of all, it is important that you never attempt to take over the spiritual leadership of the household, even if your husband is not walking right with the Lord. He is still head of the house, and you must still be in submission. If he is in sin, and is open to it, share with him respectfully and lovingly where he may be in sin. Then leave the matter alone and commit it to the Lord in prayer. Do not nag him or continue to push the subject. Pray fervently and allow God to do His work in your husband’s heart. Remember, if your husband is not saved he will not have the conviction of the Holy Spirit, therefore attacking individual sins is only dealing with the symptoms of the real illness. He needs to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, so make that the top of your prayer list for however long it takes. And have hope sister! God hears the prayers of a wife who is in obedience.

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.” 1 Peter 3:1-2

This verse says it all. What precious words of wisdom! Wives, be in submission to your own husbands. If they do not obey the word, they may be won over without the word by the chaste conversations of their wives. Now this is an interesting verse indeed and one that is sometimes looked at in the wrong way. It says “if any obey not the word.” The “word” is the Greek word “logos” which can mean just a portion of speech, but in most cases refers to the holy Word of God, or the precepts given to man by God. It is also the same word that is used as another name for Jesus Christ in John 1 when it says, “the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” So, the scripture is describing a husband who is not obeying God’s Word and certainly not obeying Jesus Christ.

Now look at the second part of that sentence. It says he may “without the word be won.” Many people look at this passage and think it is saying the husband may be won without his wife saying anything, meaning without her nagging or instruction and so forth. Interestingly this is also the word “logos” and notice it says “THE word” not “A word”. Therefore according to context it makes sense that the scripture is saying the husband may be won over without the Word of God being constantly presented to him, simply by the conversation of his wife. Conversation doesn’t just mean speech either. It is the Greek word “anastrophē” which means, “manner of life, conduct, and behavior.” Husbands can be won over by the example their wives show in their own lives. What manner of behavior or conduct is that? Chaste and reverent behavior is what does the trick. A godly wife can win her husband to the Lord by her pure, good and honorable behavior and by the reverence she shows her husband as she submits to God’s plan for her life. Now that is incredible.

See the picture here ladies? If you husband is in sin, it is not fruitful for you to be preaching at him day and night, usurping spiritual authority over him. Rather, as you honor him, according to God’s Word, and live your life in a way that pleases the Lord, your husband may be won over. This is true also if your husband is a godly man in most respects but has an area of struggle with sin. Do not nag him or criticize him. Pray for him and continue to be the wife God wants you to be, remembering that your submission and respect unto your husband is not based on his love for you or his submission to God. If you refuse to submit it is God whom you are sinning against. If your husband refuses to go with you to church, do not lose heart. As he observes God’s love and truth in your life, he will see the Word being lived out in you. Ask the Lord to use you in this way to minister to your husband.

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Serve the Lord with Gladness

“Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.” Psalm 100:2

God is so good and His mercy endures forever. Women, we are creatures of emotion. We all know it to be true, especially during times of hormonal imbalance, right? I am the worst when it comes to P.M.S. and letting my emotions get the better of me. We can be so sensitive and our moods can fluctuate so rapidly that our husbands sometimes don’t even have the ability to keep up. I know that it is hard to dwell in joy.

We have all the struggles that anyone else does. We have had problems with finances, infertility, health and much more. I will be perfectly honest with you; sometimes it is not easy for me to be joyful. My emotions take over and I’m swept over by waves of sadness and grief. I have a need to cry sometimes or to go for a long, hot bath and just listen to my Savior comfort me. Life is not easy and I want to make it clear that there are times for tears. There will be a time for mourning and weeping. There will be times when it is right to grieve.

We will lose loved ones, experience sickness, be hurt by unbelievers and sometimes fellow believers—it is right and appropriate to feel sad and express sadness when there is loss, pain or suffering. What we must remember, however, is that the Lord’s joy and mercies are new every morning. There will be a time for tears, but there will also be a time for the tears to give way to smiles. There will be a time for mourning, but there will also be a time for the mourning to turn to dancing. There will be a time for grief, but there will be a time when the grief is covered with joy. As Christians, we know these trials are but for a short time and then we will see the glory of the Lord. In Revelations we see that God will wipe away every tear from our eyes and we will spend eternity praising Him for He is so worthy.

Return to joy, dear ones, and do not let yourself dwell in sadness, but in the peace of the Lord. Cry when you need to, but live in joy. Do not let sadness and discontent rule you, but let the Lord fill you with the precious hope He has for you. Do not be chained down by discontent, but allow the Lord God of Israel to be your fullness and your portion. Do not fret and worry, but rejoice knowing in full assurance that the God of all Creation will meet your needs and bless you exceedingly with His love and mercy. There is much to rejoice about, so make a choice today that you will live out His joy in your heart, blessing your family, your husband, and your Maker.

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Celebrating our Anniversary

“My beloved is mine, and I am his…” Songs 2:16

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These are the very words I had etched into my husband’s wedding band seven years ago. Today we celebrate our wedding anniversary and I continue to be in awe of what God has done in our lives. If I were to tell you the seven years have been easy and carefree, I’d be fibbing. We have had our share of trials and struggles. We didn’t do everything right along the way, or even when we first began. We had been living for ourselves and not for Jesus Christ. Praising the Lord that He had mercy on us and in His abundant grace pulled us from the miry clay and set our feet upon the Rock! God has changed us radically and the closer we draw to Him, the nearer we are to each other.

Anniversaries are such a wonderful occasion to celebrate. It used to be in medieval times that people only celebrated the big ones, such as 25th and 50th. As time went on people started celebrating on the 1st, 10th, 20th and so forth. Now most people celebrate every year, which is great. William and I went a step further. We actually had two weddings! One was on a Tuesday morning in a small church with only a handful in attendance. We had to get legally married to start the immigration paperwork for me to move to Scotland with my very Scottish husband! At our first wedding, I wore a nice pair of dress pants and my husband wore a kilt! hehe

We had a bigger wedding about four months later. We were able to write our own vows, celebrate with friends and family, and this time all the men in the wedding wore kilts! With two anniversaries we started to debate which one we should celebrate. Finally it his us…why not celebrate them both?! Of course! We love to celebrate us! My husband remembers both anniversaries faithfully and he also remembers the anniversary of the day he proposed! Yay William!

I think anniversaries are a great way to focus in every year (or twice a year for us) on the love you share and how far God has brought you. We are not perfect. Our marriage isn’t perfect. If we didn’t have Christ in the center of it I doubt we would have made it this far. We are both wretched, selfish sinners whom have experienced the grace of God in a real way.

Listen, God wants to give us all beautiful marriages. If we are willing to submit to His ways, His Word and His plan for marriage, He can do miraculous things in our lives together. I am so grateful that God has worked in our marriage and continues to work, helping us to love one another with His kind of agape love instead of the world’s “what-can-you-do-for-me” kind of love.

Happy Anniversary my beloved husband! I am yours and you are mine!

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