Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

Part 5 – Love is not Puffed Up, The Loving Homekeeper Series

“Love is not puffed up.” 1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is not puffed up with pride. It does not inflate itself or cause itself to swell in its own estimation. Love, in fact, is cloaked in humility. Sometimes the only way we can show love to our families and friends is through acts of humility. Yet I find this is an area of great struggle for myself and many other ladies.

When my husband and I first got married, we really knew very little about one another and our daily habits. There was a lot of compromising together and getting used to one another in that first couple of years. It was not always easy. Funny how the little things can add up and create conflict. One of those little things that caused problems on several occasions was clothing. My husband and I have very different tastes in clothing. He is much more easy going about what he would wear out into public, where I am more careful about wanting to wear something that best suits me.

Most of the time my husband picks out clothes that are perfectly fine and look good, but every once in a while there would be a bad one. It would always go the same way. Dear husband would come out of the room wearing something that I felt didn’t match, or was too tight or just wasn’t right for the occasion. I would say something to the effect of, “you’re not wearing that out are you?” His countenance would immediately change to one of frustration as he replied, “I’m a grown man. I can pick out my own clothes, thank you!”

Now whether or not I was right about the fashion choice, it was clear that this was going to be an ongoing conflict. My husband didn’t like being mothered and second-guessed by me, and I was worried that he would go out looking bad. We had a problem. After much prayer about this issue that kept popping up, the Lord spoke to my heart and basically asked me this, “What’s more important—that your he looks good or that their is peace between you?”

I realized what God wanted me to do. I had to let go of my pride. I had to stop worrying about what other people thought about my husband’s attire and instead choose to be okay with it. Love chooses humility. Love does not demand to be the center of attention. It builds up others, not self.

As keepers of the home, we have daily opportunities to love selflessly and in humility. When we find ourselves being too proud, or puffed up in our own minds, we need to remember our Savior Jesus who made Himself of no reputation but took on the form of a servant and died a sinner’s death for us. We need to see Him washing the feet of the disciples. As we serve, may our hearts mimic His and our love be His love flowing out of us.

Love is not puffed up. It’s not proud but perfect in humility. It is not inflated, but rather seeks to edify others and bless them. That’s the love every homekeeper must keep at the forefront of a long day’s work.

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Using the Tongue to Build Up or Break Down

“A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.” Proverbs 9:13 

The Hebrew word for “clamorous” is the word “hāmâ”, which means, “roars, noisy, disquieted, troubled, loud, tumultuous or raging.” Basically, the foolish woman is a loud-mouth. She constantly feels the need to tell everyone where they should be going and what they should be doing. She is never quiet and content, but always finds something that she feels she must put right. Perhaps she has a word quota to meet each day, but kind and uplifting words of affirmation don’t count!

We need to look in the mirror and ask ourselves if we are clamorous. Do we love to hear ourselves talk? Do we have to be right all the time? Do we think we always have the right answer? Are we just plain loud all the time? While we may think this makes us look wise, the hard truth is it makes us look foolish, and does not encourage affection from our husbands. When you ask your husband why he loves you, would you be offended if he said, “I love you because you have a big mouth, tell everyone what to do and nag me constantly”?

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath…” James 1:19

 

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1 

A woman’s mouth can either be used to build up those around her or to tear them down and destroy them. The tongue can be such a dangerous thing; the match that starts a raging wildfire. With only a few words you have the ability to encourage, edify and show love to your husband and children, building them up. Words of affirmation are a help-meet’s best friend. Use them whenever you can. Give your husband praise for being a good provider in the home and taking care of you and the kids.

This manner of edifying communication is good in the sight of the Lord. However, if you then use the next breath to discourage, wound and humiliate, would you not consider that foolish? Words are powerful tools. How will you use your words today? Will you use them to criticize and nag you husband for not taking the trash out this morning, or will you use them to whisper sweet words of affirmation in his ear as he heads out to work, knowing he will be thinking about you all day? The choice is yours sister. Don’t make yourself a fool.

            “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.” James 3:10

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