Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

Division vs Unity in the Church

“Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.” 1 Corinthians 1:10

Calvinism versus Arminianism. Cessation versus Continuationism. Hymns versus contemporary worship. Carpets versus hardwood and pews versus chairs. haha The possibilities for division within the church are endless, and these days it seems that there are people within the church, sometimes pastors themselves, whose very purpose is to incite division and to stir up wrath. So it brings to questions, is all division bad? What is the difference between good and bad division? How can people who disagree still have unity in Christ?

1. Necessary Division

The truth is, there will be times when division is unavoidable, necessary and even good. There are times when it is important to call out and stand against a false teacher/teaching and to call other believers to do the same. This is the case when people are teaching a false doctrine that is in direct violation to God’s Word.

“For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist.” 2 John 1:7

“But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. And in their greed they will exploit you with false words.” 2 Peter 2:1-3

“An instructor of the foolish, a teacher of children, having in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth— you then who teach others, do you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that one must not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who boast in the law dishonor God by breaking the law. For, as it is written, “The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.” Romans 2:20-24

““If a prophet or a dreamer of dreams arises among you and gives you a sign or a wonder, and the sign or wonder that he tells you comes to pass, and if he says, ‘Let us go after other gods,’ which you have not known, ‘and let us serve them,’ you shall not listen to the words of that prophet or that dreamer of dreams. For the Lord your God is testing you, to know whether you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. You shall walk after the Lord your God and fear him and keep his commandments and obey his voice, and you shall serve him and hold fast to him.” Deuteronomy 13:1-4

“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.” Ephesians 5:11

“As I urged you when I was going to Macedonia, remain at Ephesus so that you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith.” 1 Timothy 1:3-4

“If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed. Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.” 2 Thess 3:14-15

These verses give us a good idea of where division is sometimes necessary and when we are called to confront a false teacher. If a false teacher is preaching a perverted form of the gospel, a different Jesus (perhaps one who is not God), a hypocrite practicing unrepented sin (according to what God’s Word clearly speaks of as sin), or teaching anything that is in direct contradiction to the Bible then there is a cause for rebuke, private and then public, and sometimes division. These are instances in which the truth of God’s Word will necessarily pierce to the joints and marrow and cause division in the body of Christ. These are the times when we need to speak out against a false teacher. Division is also made between believers and unbelievers. The goats and the sheep. That’s not a division we make but a natural division that occurs in the world. God makes the division. What has light to do with darkness?

2. Sinful Division

Why do I call it sinful to have division? Well, God makes it abundantly clear in the Word that He desires for His children, His body, to be united and knit together. He does not desire strife and contentions. He does not desire Christians to attack other Christians over issues that are not expressed above. He does NOT want Christians to attack their brothers and sisters for minor differences in interpretation of scripture that may be unclear, for differences in style of worship, for differences in apparel or food habits, etc. This is not God’s will for His church, and since He has made it very clear and commanded that we do not cause these divisions, those who do cause divisions for these reasons are in sin.

“I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.” Romans 16:17-18

“Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” John 7:24

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

“Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?” James 4:11-12

“But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.” Matthew 5:22

“1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:1-3

“1 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” Phil 2:1-3

“14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:14

Causing divisions and creating obstacles in the body that do not need to be there is wrong. It’s way more like the Pharisees than the way Jesus behaved. It’s like the Jews who tried to burden the gentiles with unnecessary bonds. In Romans, Paul tells us not to despise each other when we have differences in food or drink or sabbaths. We may have a personal conviction, but that doesn’t mean we are to cast that conviction on others and then judge them and attack them for not sharing it. This kind of judging happens often in the areas of: style of worship, clothing, food and health habits, lifestyles (as in whether or not Christians should have wealth), etc. God does not want us to divide over these issues, but to love one another so that the lost world will see and know we belong to the King.

My prayer is that God would continue to knit His church together. I pray that teachers and people who are busy seeking ways to cause division within the body of Christ would be convicted and repent. I pray that those who have been hurt by unnecessary division, accusation and judgement would find healing and reconciliation. Praying that God’s church would be united in our common Savior, our common commission and the mighty love of Jesus that connects us all through His Spirit. Amen.

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Younger Women Honoring the Elder

“Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5
Younger submit unto the elder. You know I’m going to age myself a bit to say that I think the younger generation has really lost the respect and honor that the older generation was taught to have for their elders. While this lack of respect seems to come from both genders, I’m going to address the young women who are called to submit to the teaching of their elders in the body of Christ.
I’ve met and discipled with some incredible young women in my time. It blesses my heart when young ladies come with open and teachable hearts. I consider myself at their age. Was I so receptive? Did I hunger for instruction as these girls do? I’m proud of these girls, knowing they have so many obstacles in their way as they press forward to Christ. These young ladies take Titus 2 and 1 Peter 5:5 seriously. They seek to learn from the spiritually older women.
Unfortunately for ever one young lady we see seeking discipleship and spiritual teaching, we seem to witness five of their peers turning their back to instruction, turning their nose up at the idea of discipleship and turning their attitudes away from submission and towards self-elevation. It’s not entirely their fault. Society is trying to raise generations of independent, confident and bold young women. In some ways their characteristics are good. We want young ladies to be independent enough to follow Christ alone if need be, confident in the gospel and bold to share the love of Christ. On the other hand, we see the world raising women who think they are too independent to need counsel from their elders, so confident in their own way of thinking that they are unwilling to submit to sound teaching, and bold to disrespect and dishonor elders instead of sitting at their feet of instruction.
For those of us who have daughters, we can see the challenge that lays ahead. The older generation will tell us that, in their time, elders were treated with respect. They would be honored for their years and wisdom. Young people would learn from them and be taught in the solid counsel of the Word. While the world tries to redirect our daughters into a “new” way of thinking that leads to self-focus and, quite frankly, arrogance, we need to train our daughters to walk in humility and to sit at the feet of the older women with open hearts and teachable spirits.
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Physical Pain for the Wife & Mother

“When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.” John 11:4

This is a topic that’s been on my heart quite a bit lately. Due to my own health issues, I’ve come to identify with the struggle of our sisters who deal with chronic pain and disease on a regular basis, and how difficult it is, particularly as a wife and mother. My own battles with chronic pain began almost two years ago, and the symptoms I face get stronger and more challenging to deal with day by day. I am, as of yet, still undiagnosed and currently awaiting testing at a hospital known for superior diagnostics, so praying to get some answers there.

The calling of wife and mother is no easy one, even for the healthy-bodied woman. On any given day there is laundry, cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, meeting the needs of the children, meeting the needs of the husband, schooling, ministry and anything else that may come up. There is hospitality, discipleship and ministering to the lost. Then there are those of us who also need to make an income. Some women work outside the home, and others (like myself) work from the home so that I can home-educate my daughter. Let’s face it ladies, our plates are overflowing with activities, tasks and projects. The truth is, we don’t have time to be sick.

We don’t have time to be sick; not even with the flu. At least with the flu you can safely assume a few days of down time and then a recovery. This is not the case with chronic disease and pain. A woman with painful medical conditions, such as Fibromyalgia or Lyme Disease, can almost count on waking up each morning in pain. While there are generally good days and bad days, there is no expectation of complete recovery, except for through miraculous healing from Jesus. While we pray for healing, we also accept God’s will, and sometimes His plan involves allowing us to experience pain and sickness for His glory to be revealed.

In the verse above, Jesus is talking about his friend Lazarus who is very ill. Jesus says this illness is not going to lead to death, but to the end result of revealing the glory of God. His disciples are quite perplexed indeed when Lazarus does die, but our Lord Jesus Christ knew that the death was but a mirage. He would raise Lazarus from the dead. Even knowing that, Jesus wept for His beloved friend.

To my beloved sisters who share in my struggles with pain, let us be encouraged. Sometimes we may wonder by God isn’t healing us now or why He allows us, His daughters, to suffer. My heart has posed these questions as well. We see that sometimes God allows sickness, suffering and pain because somehow in the big picture it brings about a good result. Sometimes it draws attention to God’s glory. Perhaps when people see us persevering through pain to serve our families and minister to the lost, they see God’s mighty hand carrying us through. God gets the glory. Be further encouraged to know, sisters, that Jesus’ words are true for us too. This sickness is not to death. Even though this life is a constant struggle and there is much pain, we are promised an eternity with our God in new bodies that will be untouched by pain. We are alive forevermore with Him who gave His life for us. The pain is for a short while, but our life eternal with Christ is what follows. We have to press on as best we can and trust the Lord to lift our weary arms and hold us together.

As I write this blog, tears fill my eyes because I know there is hope. I’ve definitely felt hopeless at times. I’ve felt defeated when I didn’t have the strength to finish my housework, or when I couldn’t chase my daughter in the park. I’ve cried out to my Lord, begging Him for answers. We will have those days of inner conflict, but we must admonish ourselves to remember Jesus’ words. This sickness is not to death. We have victory in Jesus and He will help us through every hard day, hold us when we are week and weary, and mend our hearts when they are broken. I pray sisters that today you know that your sickness is not to death. If you know Jesus and He knows you, you will one day be pain free. Hallelujah!

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Why Marriage? Why You?

With the release of my book, “Keeper of His Home”, and the upcoming speaking engagements, I have been asked by several people to explain why I write and speak mostly about marriage. People have asked me why I feel called to this issue, especially in that I’ve only been married 8 years myself. Why is it a topic that is so important to me?

In the Introduction of my book I share my testimony which sheds a little bit of light on that subject. I come from a broken home of divorce myself. My mother was a Christian and my father was not. My father was an adulterer (frequently) and verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive to my mother. Childhood was hard. I was sixteen when the divorce went through and my father married his mistress, raising her kids. I didn’t have a relationship with him for 8 years, and even then it was labored and awkward. I can happily share that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, I was able to forgive him in the end and tell him I loved him the day he passed away. Praise the Lord!

Why marriage? Well, I don’t honestly know. All I can say is that the Lord has put the burden of marriage heavily upon my heart. I look around and see marriages ending, marriages in trouble and families being torn apart. I see statistics that send a shiver down my spine. I see the faces of children being caught in the middle and it breaks my heart. God had a plan when He created marriage, and this wasn’t it folks. This wasn’t it. His Word gives us the answer of how to have His plan for marriage actuated in our lives.

Why me? Again, I don’t really know. To be honest, I’m not the most perfect candidate. If there were any misgivings, let me lay them on the table now. I don’t have a perfect marriage. In fact, I’d say my marriage has been a hard one from the start. My husband and I honestly barely knew each other when we got married and have both changed so much since then (for the good I think). If not for God’s Word, I don’t think we would have made it, but this message changed my heart. While we don’t have a perfect marriage, we have a happy home. We have peace, joy and Jesus! We have a beautiful daughter whom we love dearly. She has parents who love each other through God’s love and respect and honor one another according to His Word. Do we make mistakes? YES! We make mistakes but God’s grace is sufficient and each year we get better.

Proverbs 5:18-19

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.  A loving doe, a graceful deer– may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.”
 
God has called me to the ministry of marriage and I accept that calling, knowing I’m inadequate, ill-equipped and unqualified. Thank the Lord He uses the weak things of this world to confound the strong! If your women’s ministry would like me to come and share at one of your events, feel free to contact me. God bless you!
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Part 9 – Love Thinks No Evil, The Loving Homekeeper Series

“….Love thinks no evil.” 1 Corinthians 13:5

What does it mean to think evil? In this world we temporarily dwell in we are surrounded by evil. It’s on the television, in the newspapers and magazines, in the streets—everywhere. It’s so easy for us to get desensitized to what is evil because we see a world full of people accepting and even glorying in evil. So when God says that love doesn’t think evil, what does He mean and how can it be accomplished?

Let’s get back to the language. The Greek word for “think” is “logizomai“, and it can be translated to: “reckon, count, compute, calculate, to take into account, to number among, to consider, weigh, meditate on, to determine, purpose, to decide.” So this word is more about how we weigh something up in our minds. What do I determine about this person or issue? What is their substance? How have I judged or calculated their motives to be? It is actually less about what the subject actually is and more about how we’ve labeled it.

Now the word for “evil” is the Greek word “kakos” and means “of a bad nature, of a mode of thinking, feeling and acting base, wrong, wicked, troublesome, injurious, pernicious, destructive, and baneful.”

What’s fascinating about taking this phrase apart is that by understanding the text we get a better idea about the point God is making here. You see it’s not about whether or not a person is evil or has a bad nature. It’s not about whether or not they truly are being troublesome or wicked or if they secretly despise you. It’s not really about them at all. When God said “love thinks no evil”, it’s about me. It’s about how I view people and how I love them. It’s about not being cynical and looking for the worst in people. It’s about not labeling someone as evil, wicked, troublesome or destructive, especially when I don’t know that it’s true.

I think about a juror in a court room. They are presented the facts and are told to make a judgement based on those facts determining whether or not the defendant is guilty. They may be looking at a pile of evidence but it all comes down to how concrete they determine that evidence to be. God is reminding us here that we aren’t the judge and we aren’t in a courtroom. We are supposed to be loving people, not determining how wicked they are or labeling them as evil. Now, there may be evil in their lives. They may be guilty of all of the bad things you suspect. They may be out to get you or they may really be giving you dirty looks behind your back. That’s not the point. The point is how are you going to think on that person. You can choose to think no evil by taking those thoughts captive. You can choose to love people, whether or not they love you. If we really want to be effective in leading others to Christ, we need to show them this kind of love.

I think about a time when a young man came to our old church for a while. The church was something of a legalistic church, and the people weren’t very graceful to say the least. Regardless, I remember this young man entered the church and he was wearing torn up, un-matching clothes, dog chains and a bright green mohawk. He had several tattoos and piercings. The young man attended the church for a while off and on. I’ll never forget when one of the ladies from the church (in her sunday best looking prim and proper) walked up the young man and said she had to confess to him that she had secretly been judging him by the way he looked ever since he started attending.

For one thing, I couldn’t believe this woman’s discernment that the best way to deal with HER inward sin was to confess it to the person who didn’t even know how much she had been despising him. She unburdened herself at his expense when she could have simply confessed and repented to the Lord and spared him the embarrassment. Still, this woman’s heart was to think evil. She had judged him. She had labeled him. She had determined he was wicked and evil. And even when she did confess of this sin, her unloving attitude had driven the young man away from God and not to Him. How sad. Let us not be this kind of person. Let us love people and think no evil.

God says we can take every thought captive that goes against His Word. He also says in Philippians 4 that we are to think on what is true and of good report. We aren’t to go passing judgements or labeling or determining the heart of another person. We aren’t called to do that. We are called to love. Love.

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Part 1: Love is Patient,The Loving Homekeeper Series

“Love is patient…” 1 Corinthians 13:4

The Greek word for “patient” used in this passage is the word “makrothymeō“. This word can be translated into “long-suffering, to be of a long spirit, not to lose heart, to persevere with dignity through trials, to be patient in bearing others offenses, to be slow to anger and slow to punish.” There is quite a lot to this word. In no way does the English word “patient” do it justice.

I’ve never considered myself a naturally patient person. I tend to have a short fuse, especially when I am tired (which I’ve been since ever since I became a mom). My husband has seen the brunt of my bad temper far too often in our marriage and he has shown be grace when I certainly didn’t deserve it. My lot in life is to fight against the flesh that tempts me to be short tempered and to pray that God’s Spirit makes me long-suffering. I long to be patient with my husband, children, church family and friends, and all those I come into contact with.

As a Keeper of His Home, the calling to patience is so very important because we wives and mothers have to put up with and yet our family looks to us to be stability. No matter how much we love our precious little ones, they try our patience and boy do they pounce at any sign of weakness. My daughter is only three years old and she tests me on a daily basis. I must brush off her offenses, no matter how difficult, and provide her with clear, controlled and rational punishment and re-direction. I must not allow my anger to boil over and then to become a bad example instead of a good one. I have to make it clear that, while I do not like her behavior sometimes, I ALWAYS love my little girl.

My husband is a calm and steady kind of a guy. He is easy-going. He is laid back. He doesn’t understand how I can go from cold to hot and everywhere in between in a matter of seconds. God has called me to be the kind of wife that is patient with my husband. I do not expect him to do everything right all the time. I am not quick to jump on every mistake he makes or to correct every wrong detail when he’s telling a story to friends. I must be willing to let things slide as I know beyond a doubt he does for me when I’m in the wrong.

God calls us to be patient keepers of the home. How frustrating is it when our family members don’t clean up after themselves and leave messes for us? What about when we cook a decent dinner and do not receive even a small compliment? These things are frustrating when we are so busy trying to keep up our homes. Still, we must put on patience, because love is patient. Our love for our family should birth patience. If it doesn’t, we aren’t loving right.

Please Lord help us to be the patient and loving Homekeepers You desire us to be! Amen!

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My Calling Towards Home Education

“And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.” Deuteronomy 6:6-9

I always attended public school growing up, as did my husband in Scotland. The school I went to from 4th to 8th grade was a great school in a small town and I felt that I got a good education there. I went on to a public high school and then straight to a four-year university to be trained up in music education. My ultimate goal was to become a high school choir director and to teach in public school myself. You can imagine the surprise when I felt the Lord turning my heart towards homeschooling just after I married my husband.

I was living in Scotland with my hubby when I started to think about home education. We lived in a small town where I would encounter the kids walking to their schools each morning. They all wore uniforms, some of which included mini-skirts that I found to be appalling. The words I would often hear from their mouths were even more disheartening, and ones I wouldn’t want to mention here for fear of offending my readers. I wondered how I would worry if one day I were sending my own children off to these schools. Would these be the kids they befriended and learned from? Would they be mocked when their mother wouldn’t allow the mini-wear? What about the material being taught?

I recall talking to a young lady from our church. She attended a Catholic school, which is quite common over there. She said that one of her nun teachers had instructed the class during “religion” class that Jesus really didn’t do a miracle and physically multiple the loaves and fish to feed the five-thousand plus. She said, “The real miracle was that He got the people to share and that’s what the story was trying to tell.” Yikes! A nun telling kids in public Catholic school that Jesus’ miracles were not to be taken literally?

This all got me thinking and praying. I talked to my pastor’s wife, who had been home schooled herself growing up, and is one of the finest women I know. We talked about the things our children would be force-fed in public school. They would be taught the theory of evolution as if it were fact and dismiss any suggestion of creation or a Creator. They would be taught the old-age of the earth as fact without mention of other possibilities or holes in the theories. They would be given sex-education classes where current issues of birth control, homosexuality, masturbation, sexual identity and abortion would be explained by secular teachers instead of parents. These, and many more issues, kept running through my mind and heart. After much prayer, research and Holy Spirit tugging I found myself sold on the concept of home education and my husband confirmed that he too was on board.

I’m not sharing this because I think everyone needs to homeschool. Perhaps homeschooling isn’t for everyone. Not all women can stay at home to teach. Many have to work outside the home to make ends meet. Others feel that they aren’t equipped with the patience to homeschool and that’s okay. I’m not sharing my story as a means to judge or put down anyone who has chosen to use public education. I know many awesome Christian parents who have gone this route and who have great kids. I am simply sharing my calling towards home education, how God put it on my heart and why I believe it’s what He wants me personally to do.

Luke 6:40A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher.”

1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.'”

Proverbs 13:20 “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm.”

Romans 12:2 “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

These are some of the verses that encourage me in my decision to homeschool. Jesus said in Luke that a student becomes like the teacher. While I know many wonderful teachers out there and respect them thoroughly, I also know that I cannot ensure every teacher my daughter would sit under would be a Christian, and that is important to me. I want my daughter to be influenced by people under the influence of the Holy Spirit. Along the same lines I want to know that the children my daughter forms close friendships with are also being trained up in the Lord. I want to know they are being taught purity, good character and morality. While we are called to be lights to this world, I believe it is wise to wait until my daughter is older and firmly founded in the Word herself before exposing her to the world to shine.

We as parents as supposed to train up our children. We are also supposed to prioritize what are the most important things for them to learn. While my daughter will be fully educated in math, science, history, geography, literature, etc., a big part of her studies will also be in the Bible. I love that we can start each day with Bible and prayer time. She will learn about evolution and creation. She will learn about history…all the way back to the Garden of Eden. She will learn about how God made her female and what that means from her mother. She will also learn how to cook (hopefully better than me!) and clean and take care of a home. I get excited just thinking about it!

I have faced all of the stereotypes and stigmas attached to homeschoolers by those who have questioned our choice and all I can say is that I have found them to be in error. I have taught a homeschooling choir for over three years and have worked with over 45 homeschooling families. Getting to know these kids I have found them to be nothing at all as they are portrayed by those who don’t agree with homeschooling. They are delightful, bright, respectful, social and sweet kids who just shine. I adore them and their parents! In my time I have only met one family that was a little different, but the rest have been wonderful! Statistics also show that home educated children often graduate early from high school and do very well in college.

Again, I want to make it clear that I am not saying my way is the only way. I know there are great schools out there and wonderful teachers. I know that good, involved parents can and do keep up with what their kids are being taught and continue to train the kids after school hours in the things of the Lord. I am not judging others for going with public school. I am simply sharing my personal calling and why my husband and I have felt guided by the Lord into homeschooling our little ones. It is a challenge and a blessing, and I can’t wait to see what the future will hold as we continue down this path. God bless!

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Training Up Children

            “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” Proverbs 29:15

 

            “For whom the LORD lovesHe chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.” Hebrews 12:6

            Teaching and disciplining are both ways that we are called as mothers to serve our children. We can keep homes where discipline is consistent and steadfast or we can have un-orderly households. We set the tone in our homes. We set the rules, the boundaries and the consequences, of course with the go ahead from our husbands. It is an important part of our roles as home-keepers. I do want to share that God tells us here that disciplining and training up your child is an act of love. Throughout Proverbs we read that using the rod of correction is what is best for the child. We must take these words seriously and follow the Lord’s leading. He says He chastens us because He loves us. We are His children and He wants what is best for us. Sometimes His corrections hurt, but they are always for the best in the long run. The purifying of gold and precious silver through the hot fire is necessary, and God has entrusted our children to us to be brought up according to His Word. Therefore, mothers who love their children will discipline them. As to the method, well, I’ll let you read through the Proverbs and decide for yourself how God is instructing us.

We also see that parents are responsible for training and teaching the children. My personal conviction is that God has called me to homeschool my daughter so that is the direction we are going. Whether we homeschool or not, mothers are called to teach their children. It is part of keeping the home. We are to teach them to follow God’s ways, to read the Bible, to worship Him and to pray. We are to lead by example and correct with discipline when needed. Our children will see through hypocrisy and falseness so we need to make sure our own walks are solid so that they will be blessed with a good and honest example to follow.

So what is the reward of mothers keeping their homes and training up their children according to the Word? Aside from just the satisfaction of knowing you are obeying God, what are the benefits? Obedient children? Peaceful homes? The Lord’s blessings? Yes, all these things and much more!

            “The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him.” Proverbs 23:24

 

            “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” Proverbs 31:28

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Managing the Home

“So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.” 1 Timothy 5:14

If our husbands are the leaders of the home, then we certainly are the general managers, as this scripture implies. Wives, we are to manage our households to the best of our ability. It is an important part of our calling. We are given the wonderful job of making sure the home is flowing smoothly, kept up and is a place of renewing and refreshing for our families.

Men are funny, aren’t they? I laugh to myself as I think about my sweet husband and how little he knows about what all I do to keep our home running smoothly. He is out during the day, winning the bread and working hard, and he has no clue as to how much work it is to keep the home clean, the laundry done, food stocked in the kitchen, our daughter bathed and dressed and healthy, bills paid (hopefully!) and then to have dinner ready when he gets home from work.

My husband is the type of man who is always willing to lend a hand around the house, which is great. I think it’s so funny when he does something around the house and then is so excited to tell me all about the task that he accomplished. He may, for example, come in and inform me that he emptied the rubbish bin in the bathroom. Translating from my husband’s Scottish brogue to American English that would mean he emptied the trash can. He is just ever-so excited to tell me what he has done and remind me that he did it because he loves me! Bless his heart!

I giggle because I think it’s both sweet and such a typical man maneuver. I think many people miscalculate the massive amount of work it is to manage a home and to do it right. This is not at all to complain. On the contrary I think we as wives should feel blessed that God has counted us worthy and able to fulfill such a calling. We are the managers of our homes and all that it entails. We can take those responsibilities and whine about how hard it is, or strive to be the best home keepers we can be. I would rather the latter.

There’s no one way to keep a home. Some wives like to keep lists, checkpoints and very organized routines. Others enjoy a more casual approach. I know a friend who has a housework weekly and monthly calendar for herself. She basically organizes the week’s tasks into daily chores, making sure to accomplish everything without overloading one particular day. It works for her and I admire her organization. The trick is to find something that works for you and stick with it. I motivate myself to work hard during the week so that I can relax with my husband more on the weekends. He appreciates that too.

Another encouragement is to try not to let your housework get too tedious or serious. Put on some worship music and have fun while you’re doing your chores. Get the kids involved. It’s a great opportunity to teach them and develop these skills in their lives. I know I want my daughter to grow up knowing how to keep a tidy house and cook for her family someday. These are as important to her life as learning mathematics and science in my opinion. I want to prepare her to be a wife and a mother, in addition to whatever else the Lord does in her life.

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