Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

It’s Easy Not to Nag When There’s Nothing to Nag About

on July 11, 2014

photo credit: Andrea Guerra via photopin cc

A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.” Proverbs 27:15-16

Oh the nagging wife of proverbs. She’s so quarrelsome. Always looking for trouble. Never satisfied. High maintenance. You know, there are a lot of nagging wives out there. They are like a dripping faucet, just moaning and groaning and never happy. Their husbands linger at the front door before coming in for fear of what they are going to hear. These men grind their teeth with every criticizing word and rebuke. They rarely know a word of edification or encouragement.

There are those kind of nagging wives, and then there are what we could call the moderate naggers. Those moderates may not be quite as annoying as the extreme naggers, but they have a harder time recognizing their problem because it is often masked in good intentions and human logic. You might here them make remarks such as:

“Oh, I’m not a nagging wife! haha Feel so bad for all those other ladies who struggle with nagging! Yeah, I feel bad for their husbands! My husband’s so lucky to have me! I don’t need to nag him because I’ve got him so well-trained that he always does what I tell him to!”

Yet, despite their high opinions of themselves as wives, these moderate naggers may not be as fabulous as they think. I think most of us average-type wives could struggle with moderate nagging. It’s the type of nagging that comes from frustrations and perhaps real concerns.

You see, it’s okay for a woman to be frustrated when her man isn’t living up to his side of the marital bargain. It’s okay for her to have feelings of frustration and even anger. When the grass is knee-high before it gets mowed, or the house is falling apart because of lack of repairs, or when her hubby never remembers their anniversary but always remembers when draft day is coming up….those are good reasons to be frustrated. Still, there is never a good enough excuse to give into nagging one’s husband. Why? Because our behaviors as wives should not be based upon what our husbands do (or don’t do), but rather on how committed we are to serving the Lord. He told wives not to nag their husbands. He told us not to be contentious. So when we cause strife and conflict with our nagging words, God is not honored.

Dear wife, if you have a legitimate reason to be concerned or frustrated, there are steps you can take. First, pray. Pray  good and hard before doing anything. Second, go to your husband in respect and love, without that nagging and condescending tone, and share your concerns. Ask your husband to pray about it. Then, leave it alone. Don’t bring it up again. Let the Holy Spirit work on him, and continue to pray. If the issue is something you think you can take care of, do it. Do your best and perhaps your husband will feel convicted, but don’t talk about it again.

I have to warn you that not everyone will support you in this approach to being a godly wife. Some will encourage you to “whip that man into shape” or “let him have it” when he is doing something wrong. “Just tell him to get to work,” they may say. They usually have good intentions too and don’t see this as nagging. However, what matters is how you and your husband are in your home. That’s all that matters. It matters more than the chores he’s not doing or the grass that’s not mowed. It matters more than the veggies he won’t eat or the amount of time he spends watching TV.

Praying sisters that we will continue to seek the Lord, and to be willing to sacrifice our own desires, pleasures, preferences and so forth to serve God as we know we should. God bless you and keep you dear keepers of the home!

2 responses to “It’s Easy Not to Nag When There’s Nothing to Nag About

  1. I have a neighbor who has a ‘nagging quota.’ When her husband has had enough of her nagging, but SHE is not through, she comes over to my house and nags at me.

    But it is not ALL bad.

    He says I am the best neighbor ever.

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