Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

When You Feel Like a Failure

on April 15, 2014

photo credit: freeparking yay via photopin cc

In all of my blogging there has always been one thing I’ve wanted to make perfectly clear….I fail. I’m a sinner. I’m not perfect. Sometimes I do well and sometimes I blow it like everyone else. I don’t write about these topics on marriage because I have always had a perfect marriage or because we never have difficult times. I don’t write these encouragements because I think every other woman needs my advice, but rather because I need God’s advice. That’s what I’m sharing, and it’s as much for me as for anyone else.

That being said, the word “failure” is such a defeating word. I’ve felt like a failure many times in my life and in many different ways. I’ve failed to be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend I want to be. I’ve failed to study God’s Word or pray enough. I’ve failed to show grace in the face of persecution or to love my enemies. I’ve failed to make changes in my life that I know would benefit both me and those around me. Sometimes these thoughts of failure can become overwhelming and steal away our joy and our identity in Christ Jesus.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

As women I think we internalize our mistakes even more. We allow bad choices to become our identity. We don’t compartmentalize. We make a mistake and then paint ourselves all over with that color of defeat and self-depreciation. We compare ourselves to other women and wonder if we measure up. Little do we know that behind closed doors, that perfect woman we so admire and look up to probably has some of her own struggles and issues. Oh ladies, why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we judge ourselves do harshly when we know we have found grace and compassion in our Lord?

The truth of the matter is, it is good to judge ourselves in issues of sin. We do want to examine our hearts and our choices so that we can repent on do better next time. The problem is, so often that examination isn’t about constructive self-criticism with a positive note for improvement going forward. So often it is more about self-condemnation and we lose our new identities in Christ Jesus. We forget who we are in Him. We focus on our failures and forget that we are new and clean and spotless in Him.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1

Well I’m tired of feeling like a failure! I’m tired of failing to meet my own standards. I am ready to embrace the grace of God. I will continue to repent of sin and bad choices. I’ll continue to try to make positive changes. I can do these things and still remember that all have fallen short of the glory of God. In fact, the law shows us that not one of us could achieve perfection on our own. That’s why we needed Jesus in the first place! Should I grieve my sin? Absolutely! Should I strive to live a life that pleases the Lord? Of course! Should I condemn myself as a failure and a loser every time I fall? God forbid! I am a daughter of the King and He loves me. He knows I will fail. I have the covering of Jesus when I fall on my face and the power of the Holy Spirit to get back up and continue the race. In Jesus, I’ll cross that finish line. In Him, I’ve already won!

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. ” Phil 3:13-14

“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. ” 1 Corinthians 15:57

I don’t recommend calling ourselves failures because I believe in Christ Jesus we have a new identity that isn’t about how well we’ve done. We are victors because He has victory. He has made us more than conquerors. All things are possible through Christ Jesus. We are the perfect, spotless bride because He has removed our stains by His spilled blood and broken body. So, while I may feel like a failure and I may become very unhappy with myself at times, I need to remember that my weakness is only an opportunity for God to show Himself mighty and strong. I need to trust in Him that His grace is sufficient and that in Him I am victorious – even when I fail.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

4 responses to “When You Feel Like a Failure

  1. latonya ballard says:

    i am a failure. I stole money from my job and now no one wants no part of me. I have destroyed my reputation, my whole being and i don’t no what to do. I repeat I am a failure.

    • Thanks for writing Latonya. It sounds like you did make a bad choice….we all have. We have all sinned and fallen short of God’s righteousness. I understand why you feel the way you do. Are you a follower of Jesus Christ? Have you repented and asked for His forgiveness? If so, then you are forgiven and redeemed. Once God has made us clean, we are no longer failures. I’m praying for you. If you’d like to talk to me more, send me an email at chelsea.p,mccafferty @ (without spaces). I’d be happy to talk with you sister. God bless you!

  2. tinrosieR says:

    I’ve learn from life experience that their really is no such thing as failure. And even when we do fail, it’s what we gain by that failure that makes it not so. When you can learn and grow from a failure, that’s what makes it worth going through. I believe God wants us to so rely on Him, and that’s why He lets us have our way. Our way….and the consequences that go along with going our way. Your writing is meaningful Chelsea, your transparency is refreshing. You my dear are a beautiful daughter of the Risen King. @Latonya…oh honey, the first step was acknowledging your sin, now you need to do something about it. I hope you take up Chelseas offer, she means it.

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