Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

The Violent Nature of Divorce

on August 19, 2013

“So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:6

There’s no doubt that divorce is a painful event in a person’s life. It can cause trauma, suffering, stress and oftentimes depression. It is even worse when there are children caught in the middle. Parents aren’t only mourning the loss of their marriage, but also worrying about the emotional affects on their children. There is sometimes guilt and regret. There is always pain. Why? Why is divorce so painful? Why does it cause long-lasting scars?

Before I answer that question, I first want to say to those who have been through a divorce that I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve experienced. As I write this, I’m keenly aware that there are many people who tried to save their marriages but couldn’t. There are women whose husbands walked out on them. There are men whose wives left them, like Hosea’s did. There are women who have had to flee for their very lives and the protection of their children. I know all too well that there are situations that are very complex. I say this because I never want my posts to feel like an attack on people who have lost their marriage. I feel for you and pray for you, even as I write this. The Lord is near the brokenhearted. He brings comfort and restoration and peace, so cling to Him!

Now, back to the question at hand. Why is divorce so ugly? Why is it so painful? The truth is, at the very root and concept of divorce, is violence. The act of divorce is a violent one, according to God’s Word. In other words, the destruction of a marriage is a lot like a violent attack on a person. Review the verse above from Matthew 19. God made them one flesh. One flesh. No longer two individual people but one unit. He meant it to be a beautiful union, and praise the Lord that for many couples it is! One flesh. What does divorce do to that one flesh? It rips it apart. It’s violent. It’s so sad.

“”For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”” Malachi 2:16

In Malachi God says that He hates divorce because it covers one’s clothing with violence. The Hebrew word for “violence” can translate into: “violence, wrong, cruelty and injustice”.   Some people will read this and feel offended. They will say that they know God blessed their divorce and that He gave them peace about getting divorced. Well, I can see how God, the Father of all grace and mercy would bring peace and comfort to someone hurting from the pain of divorce. Yes, He is so merciful! He is so graceful! He is so good to us. However, the God of the Bible is not only a God of love…He is also a God of justice. He is holy. He is righteous. The God of the Bible would never guide His children into divorce. If divorce makes a person’s garments stained with violence and injustice, then the God of the Bible wouldn’t approve of that, would He? It goes against His very character. He will, however, clean the stains off a repented person later by blood of the Lamb. He will forgive. He will cleanse. He’s so good.

We have to stop softening divorce. It’s not pretty. It’s not amiable. It’s not a “friendly” divorce. Divorce, by it’s very nature, rips one flesh to pieces. That’s violent, wrong and unjust. Thank the Lord that those who have been through divorce can run to Him for His healing touch. For those who do have a chance to save your marriage, don’t stop trying. Don’t give up. The God who created the universe has the ability to work a miracle in your marriage. Just seek Him with everything that’s inside you and follow His Word.

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