Keeper of His Home

by Chelsea McCafferty

Training Up Children

on August 27, 2012

            “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” Proverbs 29:15


            “For whom the LORD lovesHe chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.” Hebrews 12:6

            Teaching and disciplining are both ways that we are called as mothers to serve our children. We can keep homes where discipline is consistent and steadfast or we can have un-orderly households. We set the tone in our homes. We set the rules, the boundaries and the consequences, of course with the go ahead from our husbands. It is an important part of our roles as home-keepers. I do want to share that God tells us here that disciplining and training up your child is an act of love. Throughout Proverbs we read that using the rod of correction is what is best for the child. We must take these words seriously and follow the Lord’s leading. He says He chastens us because He loves us. We are His children and He wants what is best for us. Sometimes His corrections hurt, but they are always for the best in the long run. The purifying of gold and precious silver through the hot fire is necessary, and God has entrusted our children to us to be brought up according to His Word. Therefore, mothers who love their children will discipline them. As to the method, well, I’ll let you read through the Proverbs and decide for yourself how God is instructing us.

We also see that parents are responsible for training and teaching the children. My personal conviction is that God has called me to homeschool my daughter so that is the direction we are going. Whether we homeschool or not, mothers are called to teach their children. It is part of keeping the home. We are to teach them to follow God’s ways, to read the Bible, to worship Him and to pray. We are to lead by example and correct with discipline when needed. Our children will see through hypocrisy and falseness so we need to make sure our own walks are solid so that they will be blessed with a good and honest example to follow.

So what is the reward of mothers keeping their homes and training up their children according to the Word? Aside from just the satisfaction of knowing you are obeying God, what are the benefits? Obedient children? Peaceful homes? The Lord’s blessings? Yes, all these things and much more!

            “The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him.” Proverbs 23:24


            “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” Proverbs 31:28

9 responses to “Training Up Children

  1. I agree 100%!! And this is our sixth year of homeschooling… we take it year by year, but God is good and faithful through it all. 🙂

    • That’s very encouraging! I will be homeschooling my little one and I’m also the director of a homeschooling choir. It’s so wonderful and I am learning so much from other homeschooling moms. Thanks so much for reading!

  2. My friend, Samuel Martin, has a wonderful book that you should read. Send him an email and tell him that I told you to ask for his book, and he will email you a copy for free. This book should be read by every Christian parent everywhere.

    • Chelsea McCafferty says:

      I appreciate the recommendation but I live by an important rule…if anyone says “let me recommend you read this book that explains what the Bible REALLY tells about ______”, I tend not to want to read it. You will find most of those types of books to be a twisting and misinterpretation of scripture. God wrote the Bible for all of us. He didn’t make it difficult to understand. I have been studying the Word for many years in depth, going to back to the original language, exploring the cultural and historical background and so forth. I know what the Bible says about training up children. All we need is the Word of God. Thanks anyways and God bless.

      • Actually then, with all of your research, you have discovered that the Jewish people never hit small children.

      • Chelsea McCafferty says:

        1. Our guidelines for living are not based on the Jewish people and what they have or haven’t done—it’s based on the Bible. It is quite clear in a thorough investigation of verses in proverbs and other scriptures that God wants us to discipline and train children with some sort of spanking. Whether or not the Jewish people followed this wise advice is irrelevant.

        2. You say that they never “hit small children”. That’s a bit of a generalization and also a relative term. We can’t know what ALL Jewish people did and what classifies someone as being a “small” age? What age would you put on that and how do you know that’s the age the Jewish people used to determine when a child was ready for physical discipline?

        3. Since you say it’s small children that were not spanked, is your argument that God doesn’t want us to spank “small children” only? Or are you against all spanking? If so, do you have any evidence that God is against all spanking (despite the clear evidence that He is for it in the many scriptures)?

        I look forward to your responses. Thanks again and God bless!

      • Chelsea McCafferty says:

        Here’s a great article breaking down language regarding spanking from Apologetics Press if you are interested. It’s all about the Bible.

  3. As a Christian, who grew up in a very Conservative Christian home, was spanked as a young child, child, teen, and once as an adult, I can tell you that I personally do not spank my children. I have children ranging in age from adult to 3, and have noticed that as I study more and more of God’s Word, I find my children acting better. My 3 year old is the best because my beliefs have changed before having him. I did not like being spanked (at all) and it did not help me become a better person. I stand on Jesus words of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and I find myself putting myself in my children’s shoes so many times throughout the day. I fail, I am nowhere near the mother I would like to be, but I am getting better with God’s grace. I was pondering God’s grace a few weeks ago and something hit me that I never thought of before. Jesus told the story of the man who owed the king much money, could not pay and was facing time in prison. The king forgave him, and yet, this same man went out and did not forgive his own servants and treated them harshly. When the king heard, he was furious and had him place backed in prison until his debt was repaid. Matt 18:21-35. How often am I that person with my own children? Demanding this or that from them, ruling with an iron fist so to speak, demanding they do it just right or they will be punished, yet when I make a mistake, I run to God asking for mercy and He gives it to me. One more thing I have pondered on is this: Jesus has already died for my sins. When I ask for forgiveness He never withholds it. Why do we want to punish our children when Jesus has already paid the price for their sin? If I were to spank my child it would be like I turned to Jesus and said this: “Jesus, I know when you died on the cross for MY sin that it was horrible and I am so grateful for you dying for MY sin but see, your death wasn’t enough for my son’s sin. I must punish him. One day, when he is older, your death will have been enough, but until then, I will keep on punishing him.”
    I keep going back to Jesus words: treat others the way you want to be treated. I don’t want my husband to come home, see that I am having a hard day, and bring down punishment on me. I want a hug, a kiss, a shoulder to cry into and forgiveness.

    • I thank you for sharing your heart on this issue. I think that in a lot of ways you have made great points. I don’t agree with all of them. I do believe in spanking, but not in the way you describe. I believ spanking should be a last resort for acts of willful disobedience, and I believe they should always be followed by tons of tenderness….hugs, kisses and an explanation of why it took place. I don’t believe in punishing children for being children, for making mistakes or for not being perfect (as you said). And I do believe in bowing grace and forgiveness, but that doesn’t mean there is no consequence. Jesus forgives us when we ask, but He doesn’t always remove our painful consequences.

      My story is the same as yours but with a different outcome. I too was spanked all through my childhood and I do believe it made me a more respectful and God-focused teen and then adult. I was also trained up in the Word. I appreciate that my mother followed the wisdom in Proverbs in raising me. I was never abused and I certainly deserved every swat I got.

      Again, I want you to know that while we disagree, I do appreciate you sharing. I think it’s always nice to get a new perspective and I pray your family continues to be blessed. Take care.

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